1) Everyone needs to wear their OWN underwear. From now on, you get in trouble for wearing other people’s chonies.

2) Honey, stop by the pet store for a urine odor removal product (for our child). Be sure to get a product for cats. (Sad that I should know this.)

3) Did you say I’m not your “real” mom? Oh! I get it! You mean I’m not your vagina mom!

4) I see that you like the word ‘a**h***. Because I’m a good mom, I want you to be best at that word. You may bring a new fact about the anus to the table every night for the whole month.

5) I NEVER would have imagined myself sitting before a judge last week, saying yes to every question regarding my 22-26th kids!! (We started with three birth kiddos and wanted to foster one more…never a plan to adopt…whew!)

6) I never would have known that there are different words in the Russian language for one turd and for two turds. I likely wouldn’t have known both anatomically correct nouns AND the vulgar versions if it hadn’t been for my adopted cuties!

7) To the school office: “I need to pick up my daughter. We are going to visit her mother.”

8) I LOVE open adoption!

9) I think it’s extremely important to keep siblings together at nearly all costs. (Always felt this way - but not with the near surety I have now.)

10) Wouldn’t have realized that my plaque: “We may not have it all together, but together we have it all” would have fit our family so aptly!