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I cant believe its been 10 months already, last month we celebrated our first referral anniversary and we are officially on the waiting list to start getting occupational therapy for sensory issues. Livi has come so far in ten months. She has gained 10 lbs, grown 5 inches and hardly resembles her referral picture. It’s been an amazing process to watch her flourish and thrive.
The Good-
Her attachment, while this continues to be a one step forward, two step back process for us she is no doubt attaching and is growing more attached month by month. I’m seeing real progress in her ability to reciprocate. I’m very pleased with a new found understanding of empathy.. this is huge in my eyes.She no longer gives and receives affection on her terms. She is showing me all of her true colors and I can see that she has almost complete trust in me that I will meet her needs. She loves her Babushka. Livi does not get to see Babu that much but when she does Livi just loves her and talks about her for a week straight.I have been implementing some sensory ” heavy work” and this seems to be giving Livi the input she craves.
The Bad-
Her sensory seeking issues continue to baffle me, I’m so eager to learn some tools to help her.I have taken to researching and trying things on my own out of frustration. She shows little impulse control and has no need to please anyone. She is showing manipulative behaviors ALREADY… This is especially worrisome, as she has mastered this ability at the age of two. She is learning to use her smarts to charm and manipulate the pants off anyone. There are days that we are like oil & vinegar… we just don’t mix. We are both very stubborn.
The Ugly
The anxiety she shows, the anxious attachment behaviors. When she wants me but even when she is in my arms and has my full attention she is still not content. The night terrors that break my heart… blood curdling screams in her sleep.
Hang in there. You are already so far ahead of the game in that you began attachment parenting immediately and are getting help for sensory issues.
As aware as you are of attachment parenting, are you able to take breaks when Livi and you simply are having a hard time being together? This is just as important for Livi as it is for you and is the single most important mistake that I made. I am also still learning how to not feel bad for her, not get drawn into her previous bad life. Take care of yourself, it is crucial.
Thanks Lisa
Im looking into a respite program as we speak.. so I can have a few hours to myself. Its very exhuasting somedays