After I got a Social Security number for my son, the last piece of paperwork I needed was a birth certificate for my adopted child. While obtaining this document was technically not a rush, I was eager to put the adoption paperwork behind me. By the time my son was five months old, I had an adoption decree declaring him as my legal son, and I had a Social Security number. I was ready to end the adoption paperwork chapter of my life.

Unfortunately, my state is known for being particularly slow in issuing birth certificates for adopted children. The social... more

After I adopted my son, the two pieces of paper that stood in my way of being finished with the adoption-related paperwork were the birth certificate and the Social Security number. I did not really need the birth certificate right away because my son was years away from entering school or playing on a soccer team, but I really wanted that Social Security number. My husband and I wanted to set up an Education IRA for my son, and we needed a Social Security number to do this. While there are ways to work around this, they were cumbersome as well. I just wanted to obtain... more

While we are celebrating with parties today (or recovering from parties, as the case may be), let's focus on a fun part of adoptive parenting – the finalization party! After all of the hard work you did to become your child's parents, your family deserves to kick off your legal status as a family by having a party.

In my state, you do not go to court for the finalization if the adoption is uncontested. So, the paperwork just arrived in the mail one day with no pomp and circumstance. While that piece of paper was extremely important to me, there was nobody to celebrate it with.... more

As an adoptive parent, do you sometimes question which of your child's behaviors stem from your child's adoption and which are simply your child's personality? I find myself wondering this sometimes because I want to be sensitive to helping my child work through any adoption-related issues.

For example, my seven-year-old son is a very confident little guy. He has no problem with going to a new camp at a new location in which he does not know a soul. It does not phase him in the least. By the time I pick him up on the first day, he not only has several... more

In my post, Adoptive Parenting: Inequity In Hands-On Parenting Responsibilities, I talked about the inequity of the hands-on parenting responsibilities in many adoptive families. Of course, there are exceptions, but in many families, the husband sees his parenting role as being the breadwinner and leaves the hands-on parenting to the wife. The wife often feels overwhelmed and resents the husband for not helping out enough with the children, which causes the husband... more

In my post, Adoptive Parenting: Inequity In Hands-On Parenting Responsibilities, Fenyimom posted the following comment:

One that I've heard from several of my male co-workers, whose wives are stay at home moms - we work in an operations team, where we are oncall. If you're oncall and get contacted after work, you have *got* to take the call and work the issue. For some strange reason, my co-workers wives don't understand this. Their... more

In my post, Adoption: Does Reluctant Spouse = Reluctant Husband?, John posted the following comment:

Hi Faith, interesting post. I am always amazed at the standard assumption that parenting is purely working with the child. It takes a place to live, and food on the table to parent also and that is a key part of parenting. Someone has to bring home the bacon, and they are parenting every bit as much as the stay at home mom. That is one tread that appears... more

I hope that all of my adoptive family readers are having a very Merry Christmas today. I also send good wishes to other members of the adoption triad as well as those of you who celebrate other holidays at this time of year. Foster children are also in my thoughts today. I hope that every foster child will spend next Christmas with his or her forever family.

Christmas is a good time to reflect upon the joy of being an adoptive family. I spent four empty Christmases longing for a child. No matter how nice the gifts or how delicious the food,... more

If you adopted an older child, your child might misbehave around the holidays. While most children get more excitable as the holidays approach, some older adopted children might become withdrawn or irritable. This behavior can baffle some adoptive parents because the holidays are generally seen as a time of joy for children.

Children who have experienced pain and/or trauma can react to Christmas much differently from other children. When the child sees the Christmas tree, she might be reminded of experiencing abuse at this time of year, possibly in front of another... more

My six-year-old son is in the process of being evaluated for the extent to which his Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is affecting his ability to succeed in school. It is looking like we will need to medicate him in order for him to succeed. He is such a bright kid, but his inability to focus is impeding his ability to stay on task and complete assignments. Even his IQ testing (as part of this assessment) did not fully capture his intelligence because the... more