On my post, Which Behaviors are Adoption-Related and Which are Not?, Lisa, our Guatemala Adoption blogger, left the following comment:

Sensitivity in humans varies of course, but I truly believe that the separation from their birth mother, and later from their foster mother (as in children from Guatemala) is a trauma our children never get over. Our love and consistency will help them learn... more

Unfortunately, society has a stereotype about birthmothers, and that stereotype can be passed along to the adoptee. Because I adopted my son, most people assume that his birthmother had unmarried sex in her teens and was too poor to raise him herself. While this stereotype might apply to some birthmothers, there are numerous others who do not fit this profile. As a result, some people assume that all adopted children were a "product of sin" by being conceived out of the marital bed. This is not necessarily the case, and I do not want my son feeling tainted... more

I heard a sad story about a teenage adoptee who is having a hard time coming to grips with having been abandoned as a child. Unfortunately, that is the history of many adopted children, particularly in poor or overpopulated countries where leaving the baby abandoned is the cultural way of relinquishing parental rights. We even have this happening in the United States through the safe haven laws, which allow birthmothers to "abandon" their babies in specific places and immediately relinquish their... more

As an adoptive parent, you need to take your responsibility to draft a Last Will and Testament seriously. Without a will, if you and your spouse die together without a will, then a stranger (a judge) will make the difficult decision about who will raise your child. You owe it to your child to make provisions for him in the event that you are unable to do so yourself.

In addition to this concern, you will want to think about what instructions you want to leave your child's guardian with respect to his adoption. If you have a semi-open... more

My son, who is seven years old, has been asking for a baby sister lately. For the most part, he has seemed to be happy as an only child. I make a lot of effort to provide him with play dates and social activities so that he has many opportunities to interact with other children. However, most of his friends have siblings, and I guess it is only natural for him to desire a sibling as well. Also, during the holidays, he got to spend a lot of time with his cousins, which kind of felt like having siblings, and then went back to being the only child in the house.

If... more

Are any of you familiar with a fabulous Christian speaker named Beth Moore? I was watching one of her videos that goes along with one of her Bible studies, and she was talking about an older child that she adopted. She shared that her adopted son had all sorts of issues, causing her to have to attend numerous conferences with school personnel. As the school personnel would rattle off issues, she would respond by saying things like, "Yes, I know he can be difficult…"

One day, the school called her in to talk with her about another behavioral issue.... more

My son was watching a cartoon the other day, and I was surprised to hear the word "adoption" used. I watched the show for a couple of minutes to figure out the context and whether this might be something we needed to discuss further.

From what I could gather, a boy was returning his imaginary friend to a place where imaginary friends are "adopted" by children who want them. I did not follow why he placed his imaginary friend there, but he was clear that he planned to come back for him. The person in charge of the imaginary friend place said that... more

My son and I were talking a walk around the neighborhood when we came across an "It's a Girl" balloon on a mailbox. Nicholas pointed to the balloon and said, "Look, Mom! They adopted a girl!" Of course, we do not know these people and have no idea whether that baby joined their family through birth or adoption, but I think it is really cool that Nicholas immediately assumed that the baby joined the family through adoption. This tells me that he sees adoption as normal rather than as an anomaly that makes our family different.

What makes this doubly... more

If you have a family pet, then you have a wonderful way to help a younger adopted child understand adoption. The family pet is clearly not blood-related to the other family members, but he is a welcome and beloved member of the family. Such a complex concept as adoption can seem much more simple with a concrete example like the family pet.

I have used our dog to help my son understand why his birthmother would choose to "give him away." I explained that his birthmother did not give him away. Instead, she wanted my son to have the life that he does,... more

I am curious about how fellow adoptive parents feel about receiving fundraising letters from adoption agencies. We periodically receive letters from the agency that handled my son's adoption, telling us about financial woes and asking for financial support. The letters talk about how many children now have homes thanks to them and say that they need more financial support in order to continue finding homes for more children.

I have mixed feelings about those letters and, from what I have seen, I am not alone in this. On the one hand, I support... more