A reader recently posted a question on one of my blogs as a comment. She asked me if the adoption tax credit could help to eliminate a person’s self-employment tax. This reader was understandably confused when she was told that the adoption tax credit did not apply to the self-employment tax. Surprisingly, I can answer this question. In my previous life, before adoption, I was an accountant. In addition, Super Dad and I completed two adoptions in 2007 and I earned money from self-employment (blogging) in 2007. Therefore, our tax return may be very similar to this reader’s tax... more

It was bound to happen. We can all pretend that racism is a thing of the past, yet we know in our hearts that it isn’t. We were told during transracial adoption training that it would happen and that we needed to prepare our children for it. Of course, we didn’t think it would really happen to us. It may be especially difficult for those of us raised in Midwest, middleclass, suburbia to accept. We were never exposed to racism growing up because we weren’t exposed to people of other races enough to say so. My high school had three blacks in attendance and two of them were actually... more

It is that time of year again already. The months seem to fly by and six months comes so quickly. Our adoption agency has requested that we send an update semi-annually for the first five years, then once a year. It is hard to believe that our beautiful daughter is one and a half already. I want to tell her birthmother so much about her in each update letter because we are so proud of her. It is tempting to send many photos because she is so cute and photogenic. What holds me back from doing it then? We currently have a closed adoption because that was her birthmother’s choice.... more

I remember clearly when my mom began the journey into menopause. She was 42 and I was in the midst of my obligatory teen angst. This made for an extremely ugly time of hormonal head-butting. As often happens when one is an ignorant, pig-headed kid with little to no life experience, I swore it would be different when I had children (one of many bone-headed statements I have proven incorrect).

Well, here I am, mere weeks away from my 44th birthday and a full 12 months into perimenopause (yep, 42 was the magic number). You can’t wait until you are old enough... more

Many adoptees wished they had waited until they were more mature before searching for their birth parents. Comments like, I would have handled it so much better if I had waited were common. However, as individuals, we all do what we feel we must, when we feel we must. If a teenager is so obsessed with meeting birthparents that he or she cannot concentrate on anything else then it might not be possible to wait. If thoughts of birthparents are becoming so constant that, they are beginning to disrupt your other relationships, then searching immediately... more

Many teenagers were adopted as infants and might be the only adopted child in the family. Therefore, they wouldn’t have a clue what their parents went through so many years ago to adopt. Danea explains it quite well. “From the time your parents decided to adopt you, their lives have been scrutinized, analyzed, and picked apart by total strangers. Their destiny, and yours, was at the mercy of these strangers who searched for flaws in their personalities, abilities, intellect, and potential parenting skills.” That is pretty much what our adoptive family has gone through... more

As I’ve blogged about before, just about everyone in our immediate family has some sort of special condition. How can you keep track of it all?

I’ve been pretty up-front with the fact that I have ADD, and organization is not my strong suit. Therefore, I have to work doubly harder to have a system. Most people who don’t know that I have ADD think I am incredibly organized (ha!), so I guess I’ve developed a system that works well for me.

At the crux of my system is my... more

In a previous article, I discussed what a service animal is. The benefits are tremendous, however, a service animal is a highly trained entity and not a “pet” in the sense that we use the term. Therefore, it bears considering if a service animal is right for your family.

Does the child need a service animal? Many of the organizations listed in the previous article had guidelines for application. Though... more

If your child has certain medical conditions, you may consider getting a service animal. These highly trained animals are not “pets” in the sense that we normally use the term, though they do become part of the family and are very much loved!

Service animals are used in many ways by many individuals. We are probably most familiar with them in the role of “guide dog” for those with vision impairments. However, they can assist with mobility, such as pulling a wheelchair. Service dogs have also been trained to “sniff” lows in children with Type 1 diabetes, by detecting... more

Chapter one covers an adoptee’s fantasies and curiosity about their birth family. Throughout the book, Danea reinforces the normalcy of a teenager’s feelings, emotions, and curiosity. She makes it very plain that everyone experiences these feelings, fantasies, and emotions at some time in their lives. She validates a teenager’s rights to feelings, whatever those feelings might be, and rights to information. She encourages journaling to help teenagers work through their feelings and track their progress.

Danea states in the book that it is natural for... more