As I have gone along in my years of parenting, there are certain things that just don’t push my buttons anymore. If my kids are running around getting ready for school in the morning and can’t find their papers or other things they need, I continue to eat my cereal.

If you read my blogs on the Foster Adoption blogs, you know that I am a big fan of Love & Logic. I give the “units of concern” to my kids. They own them.

What are “units of concern”? This establishes... more

I knew it was inevitable for my adopted child to hear a comment about his adoption at some point in his childhood, but I was surprised when this started in kindergarten. My son was very upset after school one day because his friend had told him that I was not his “real mom.” How can a parent reassure her adopted child that he has a “real” family?

On another occasion, this same child in my son’s class said that my son “does not have a mom.” I was floored by this comment, even more so than the first,... more

Why do we need an Adoptive Parenting blog? Is there really much of a difference in parenting for adoptive parents versus biological parents? If so, what are those differences? What parenting challenges are unique for adoptive parents?

The short answer is yes, adoptive parenting is different from other parenting in a number of ways. Different is not the same thing as “better” or “worse”; it is simply different.

I saw some of these differences from the very beginning, and... more

It's the middle of summer, and unless you are fortunate enough to have year round schooling, you're in the middle of summer vacation and probably praying for school to start again.

To add a little levity, here are some dumb laws about children that should make you laugh.

Arizona - Maricopa County: No more than six girls may live in any house.

California - Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.

Florida... more

There is much discussion over whether it’s more difficult to parent a child of neglect or a child from abuse. I have dealt with children with both a history of child neglect and child abuse. They are both challenging, but in many ways, the neglected child is more difficult.

Children learning bonding and trust within the first two years of life. This is done by their parents or primary caregivers responding to their needs. In the case of child abuse, the child’s needs are sometimes met, sometimes not met, and sometimes... more

I have been asked this question a LOT since becoming a foster or adoptive mom. I do have a lot of children, which people notice. But, the question is asked even when I'm out with just a few kiddos.

So, am I a daycare? Am I offended by the question?

First of all, *I*, as one stand-alone human form, am not a daycare. My body shape possesses no buildings, no staff.

Am I daycare teacher? Are these children in my daycare class? No, ma’am. They are mine. 24/7. I’m the mom.

Am I offended by the question? No. We... more

Adoption is about families, all sorts of families.

Family includes extended family. They may not be involved in the day to day parenting of your adopted child. But, parents/grandparents, brothers/sisters, aunts/uncles, and cousins are also part of a family. Like it or not, their responses and reactions to your adoption and your adopted child have an impact on your family.

Was/is your family supportive? If so, that’s great for everyone. And yet, you may find that even having a supportive family member doesn’t mean you won’t have... more

Sometimes, as in the picture here, rules make no sense at all! Hopefully, with our kids, we're able to come up with rules that have logical consequences that help kids make sense of all these rules!

Parenting books line the shelves of every major bookstore and library in the country. How can we find the right parenting books that work for us and our children? I first parented a son, an easy-going biologically-born-to-me son. I checked out parenting books, every idea worked on my easy little child. I assumed I had read and learned well. Because... more

Tell me I’m not the first person to have gained weight while having a child! Sure, most birth mothers gain weight during a pregnancy. How about us adoptive mothers? I think that “baby weight gain” is something that, at times, plagues adoptive mothers also.

I have three birth children. I was extremely ill during pregnancies and actually lost weight rather than gained. With each child, after the birth, I put on weight. My birth baby recently turned 10yrs old and I still joke that my problem is “just baby weight”. What about with adoption, then?

As... more

Knowing what to do to help an adopted child with difficult behaviors is NOT the same as helping any other child. Very often, an adopted child’s problematic behavior comes from an entirely different place of need. Because it’s sometimes hard to tell which is a “normal behavior problem” and which is an “adoptive child behavior problem”, it’s important for we adoptive parents to keep a ready arsenal of behavior management ideas. This allows us to be flexible and empowers us to find the right way to help our child (and ourselves)!

Modeling... more