In case you missed it, the Reactive Attachment Disorder blog has a heated debate going about Nancy’s adult adopted child who is not making the most responsible choices. Nancy has made the decision to let her adult daughter make her own choices and either sink or swim without bailing her out. Some readers have accused Nancy of not being “loving” by making this choice. See the following posts and comments for more on this situation:

When our adopted child joined our home, we received a medical history for each birthparent. Even with all of the medical history we received, we still do not have a complete medical background for my son’s extended birth family. This can be a problem for many adoptive families, especially when the adopted child is exposed to allergens.

Last summer, my son experienced his first bee sting. He did not have an allergic reaction to the sting, which was to be expected because this was his first exposure to the potential allergen. In... more

As I posted in Protecting Adopted Child from the Media, I really dislike it when the media goes out of its way to point out that a child was adopted when the child’s adoption is irrelevant to the story. As an example, I pointed out how frequently the media reminds us that Tom and Nichole adopted their children. My son is just my son. Yes, he joined my family through adoption, but his adoption does not define who he is.

I happen... more

Get any group of mothers together, and the working mom versus stay-at-home mom debate is likely to rear its ugly head. Being adoptive parents only digs us more firmly into one “side” or the other. On one side, we have adoptive parents saying that they waited so long to be parents that they want one parent at home with the child. On the other side, we have adoptive parents who have either depleted their savings account or are knee deep in debt to pay for the adoption, so they say that both must... more

When I was waiting to adopt, I remember reading that adoptive parents should never use abandonment as a form of punishment for an adopted child. Unfortunately, I cannot remember where I read this, but I remember the author saying that an adopted child is more likely to react with a much stronger fear of abandonment than a child who was not adopted. Personally, I cannot imagine threatening to abandon my child, no matter how he joined my family, but I thought this observation was an interesting... more

The steps you need to take to protect your adopted child from sexual predators are similar to the steps taken to protect any child. However, there are some additional safeguards you should put into place to protect an adopted child from sexual predators.

1. Talk to your child about sexual predators.

It is hard to take away some of your child’s innocence by making him aware that there are “bad people” in the world. Unfortunately, you must take this step to protect your child. If... more

While looking for related topics for my last post, Protecting Adopted Child from the Media, I stumbled upon a good post that was written last year called Talking to kids about sexual predators. As an abuse survivor myself who is parenting an adopted child, this post jumped out at me, particularly when Adrienne talked about protecting... more

As a parent, there are many things in the media from which I want to shield my child. As a parent of an adopted child, that list only gets longer. Because my adopted child is only six years old, the job has not been too difficult thus far. However, as he gets older, I shudder to think of how my son will be affected by the inaccurate and negative ways that the media portrays adoption.

Even though my son is only six, I have already had to make the decision about whether to let him see the movie Meet the Robinsons.... more

In my post What if Your Adopted Child Really was “Unwanted”?, I received a very sad comment from OwensMama about her situation. Her 3-1/2 year old adopted child’s birthmother did not want him, and OwensMama is agonizing over how to talk with him about this as he grows.

Here is part of OwensMama’s comment:

[The adoption] paperwork contains a direct written sentence from his... more

In my post Reassuring the “Unwanted” Adopted Child, I shared that my son believed his birthmother placed him for adoption because she did not want him. This could not be farther from the truth. However, as John pointed out in the comments, there are adopted children whose birthmothers truly did not want them. How do you help an adopted child to cope with this level of rejection?

I posted about my... more