One of the most controversial areas of adoption is the decision of whether to tell an adopted child that he was conceived as the product of rape or incest. Many people feel very strongly one way or the other, and each side of this issue makes some very good points. I do not have the answers for whether it is better for an adopted child to know this information about his beginnings. However, I can offer you a discussion about both sides of the issue and then let you draw your own conclusions.

I have combined the topics of rape and incest because, in the vast majority of cases, pregnancies resulting from incest are really the product of incestuous rape. The word “incest” includes any sexual contact between blood relatives. Most pregnancies from incest are from older male relatives (fathers, grandfathers, uncles, etc.) raping younger female relatives.

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Any woman who chooses to carry a baby to term and place that baby for adoption after being raped deserves our deepest respect. It cannot be easy to watch your body grow and knit together a baby who carries the DNA of your rapist. I would imagine that doing so is extremely painful emotionally. I have read some incredible stories about women who were raped but chose not to abort because they believed that the baby should not pay for the father’s “sins.” These women were clearly amazingly strong to stand by their convictions even in the face of growing a baby in their bodies for 9 months and then enduring the pain involved in placing the baby for adoption.

That being said, the knowledge that an adoptee came into being as the result of a violent act has to be a big pill for any adoptee to swallow. Even though the adoptee received half of his genes from his amazingly strong birthmother, he also received half of his genes from a rapist. That information is going to rock even the most well adjusted adopted child.

Should you tell your adopted child about his conception through rape? Hopefully, this series will help you to make an informed decision. I will be covering the following topics:

• Reasons to tell


• Issues to consider if you decide to tell


• Reasons not to tell


• Issues to consider if you decide not to tell


• Special considerations for incestuous rape

If you have other issues surrounding this topic that you would like for me to cover, post your questions or suggestions in the comments or e-mail me at faitha@adoptionblogs.com.

Related Topics:

• Adoptees Right to Know Adoption Information



• Book Review: Telling the Truth



• Assessing Health Risks: Incest; Rape

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