Household Chores and Developmental Delays

January 12th, 2010

Household Chores with Developmental DelaysOur Beauty is inching up on her third birthday (just over two months to go) and we've started a new addition to her daily schedule: a household chore. Some may argue that almost-three is too young to be helping around the house, while others believe that assisting with household duties should start as soon as a child is old enough to walk and talk. Bear has been "helping" around the house for as long as I can remember. He helps me dust (with a clean, dry cloth), he helps me feed and consequently let out the dog, he helps me sort laundry and he puts away all the silverware (sans knives of any sort, of course) after it… [more]

Responsibility

March 5th, 2009

There comes a time in the life of every parent, adoptive or otherwise, where it is necessary to let a child spread his wings. In the case of an older adopted child, that moment can be harder that one would think. My son, T, has been begging to be allowed to walk home from school by himself. He is twelve years old and in the sixth grade so this request shouldn't seem shocking. But, I have only been T's mom for a year and a half. I am not ready for him to be doing anything by himself. Our house is close to a mile from T's school. It is on the same street so he doesn't have to remember any directions. He does however, have… [more]

Dear Birth Mom, Your Daughter Is Two Years Old

August 13th, 2008

I am two! Can you believe that it is already that time again? It is time to write our semi-annual Dear Birth Mom letter and update. The months seem to fly by unbelievably fast and it has already been six months since our last update. Our darling daughter has just turned two years old. It seems like just yesterday I was rushing to Texas to meet her for the first time. Now, she is the one rushing, in every direction at once most of the time. She has been transformed from an enchanting little baby to a beautiful little girl in two years. Dear Birth Mom, Now that Amigrace has turned two, it is obvious that she has inherited your tall, lean, and muscular build. At her… [more]

Our Semi-Annual Dear Birthmother Letter

April 2nd, 2008

It is that time of year again already. The months seem to fly by and six months comes so quickly. Our adoption agency has requested that we send an update semi-annually for the first five years, then once a year. It is hard to believe that our beautiful daughter is one and a half already. I want to tell her birthmother so much about her in each update letter because we are so proud of her. It is tempting to send many photos because she is so cute and photogenic. What holds me back from doing it then? We currently have a closed adoption because that was her birthmother’s choice. On the one hand, the agency doesn’t need a foot-deep file of our daughter’s photos filling… [more]

Areas of Responsibility

February 7th, 2008

For so long, my daughter took on the personal responsibility of ensuring her younger brother was safe. She’s a total “protector” and has been in “full mama mode” for some time now. For children who are used to “being in charge,” it’s hard to let go once they are in the safe confines of an adoptive family. My daughter routinely goes beyond whatever instructions I give her. If I ask her to put her dishes in the sink and rinse them with water, she will wash them with lots and lots of dish soap. Not a huge deal, unless it makes a big mess that I then have to clean up, which is at issue here! I don’t want to see her self-esteem crushed, and… [more]

Choices

May 2nd, 2007
Categories: Responsibility

I had a light bulb moment recently. I thought I would share it with you all. I realized that I had been making a mistake with Livi. I had fallen into a way of parenting and done what I have seen so many others do. I first realized it when observing my daughter in her occupational and speech therapy playgroup. I noticed that Livi’s therapist offered her choices several times in the hour long session.Red cup or Green cup…. pick one. White smock or yellow smock.. pick one please. Fish crackers or teddy bear crackers… choose please. When first offered choices Livi would answer “okay”. She did not know how to pick and she just shrugged her shoulders and said okay to both choices… [more]