Other People Just Don’t Relate

October 11th, 2012

“I know how a birthmother feels,” a man told me once. “My nephew and I were really close, but one day my brother told me he got a new job on the other side of the country and they would be moving. I miss that kid so much.” I couldn’t believe my ears. This man honestly thought he could directly relate to a birthmother because his nephew moved across the country. Wow. The human mind is a funny thing. When we’re little kids, everything is new to us. We spend our days exploring new shapes, situations, and ideas. Our minds are constantly being filled with concepts that are completely brand new to us, which makes the whole experience of being on this crazy world an exciting adventure. Once we become adults, though… [more]

Excluding Inclusion: Our Shopping Search

August 30th, 2009

Somewhat inspired by the theme of issues related to race as blogged by Mandy W and Robyn C recently, I would like to introduce my story of the search for the newborn Hispanic Cabbage Patch Doll. No, really. I have a story that actually does aptly fit that description. But while this blog doesn't touch on the same issues discussed by Mandy and Robyn, it does discuss some of the implications of the inclusion/exclusion conundrum. Prior to the birth of Bear in 2006 and long before the idea of actually moving forth with adoption flew onto our family radar, I always envisioned a home full of toys, namely dolls in this context, bearing representations of different races. Yet once Bear was born… [more]

The Little Girl

September 24th, 2008
Categories: Book Reviews

I received a book to read and review and I am pleased to do so. The book is called “The Little Girl” by Phil Wong. This is a children’s book about a little girl raised by a single dad. The book is set in China and focuses on a baby girl, Ming Zhu, who is abandoned and found by a man Li Feng. He takes her home and raises her as his daughter. There are several things I like about this book. The illustrations are beautiful and children will love them. The colors are both soft and bright. I like the way it embraces the Chinese culture talking about the meaning of the names, traditional Chinese foods, dress and even though I ethically… [more]

Adoption in the United States a Reference for Families, Professionals, and Students

May 29th, 2008
Categories: Book Reviews, Resources

Adoption in the United States, A Reference for Families, Professionals, and Students is a new book just released in May by Lyceum Books Incorporated. If you are new to the world of adoption, reading this book could save you hundreds of research hours. It could also save you from making embarrassing blunders when dealing with birth families, adoptive families, or adoption professionals. Those of us who have been part of the adoption world for over a decade have had to learn the ropes by asking many questions and making mistakes. If you are thinking about adopting, just started the process, or finalizing your first adoption this book could be invaluable to you. Adoption in the United States would also be valuable to a student at college… [more]

Hereditary Spherocytosis

April 29th, 2008

Hereditary Spherocytosis is a relatively uncommon blood disorder, occurring in 1 person out of approximately 5,000. As the name suggests, the condition is primarily an inherited one. With this condition, the blood cells are mutated, and are atypical cells with very thin walls. Because the cells are not the shape healthy red lbood cells are, they have difficulty passing through the body. However, unlike sickled cells, they do not cause pain as they pass through the body. A hallmark of the condition is that the spleen retains these cells longer because of their inability to easily pass through it, and thus become damaged by the spleen. Those with severe cases of Hereditary Spherocytosis are generally encouraged to have the spleen removed, once it is mature, after age seven… [more]

What Would an Adoptive Family Say If a Pregnant Teenager Asked for Advice?

April 16th, 2008

Say, that you are an adoptive family. A teenager approaches you for advice. She is barely in high school and confides that she just found out that she is four months pregnant from the school nurse. She has told no one else, doesn’t know who else to ask, and is desperate for advice. What would you tell this teenager? After all, you are an adoptive family with a current homestudy. Would you try to convince her to place with you? Would you give her all of her possible options, including adoption, but not mention your family’s status? Would you mention that your family is approved for adoption but try not to seem pushy? I was surprised to receive an email from a pregnant teenager asking me for… [more]

Should Your Family Socialize With Other Adoptive Families

April 11th, 2008

Should your family socialize with other adoptive families? What benefits are there to socializing with other adoptive families? Does your area have organized events specifically for adoptive families? If not, have you thought about organizing a support group or an event? Maybe you have never considered any of these questions. Because our adoption journey began through providing foster care to area children, attending social events for adoptive families seemed very natural. In the process of becoming licensed foster parents we were required to attend many hours of training and then to maintain training hours each year. We enjoyed attending these trainings and getting to know other foster and adoptive families. We are very fortunate because our city has a foster adoptive family resource center that organizes… [more]

Does the Adoption Tax Credit Apply to Self-Employment Tax?

April 7th, 2008

A reader recently posted a question on one of my blogs as a comment. She asked me if the adoption tax credit could help to eliminate a person’s self-employment tax. This reader was understandably confused when she was told that the adoption tax credit did not apply to the self-employment tax. Surprisingly, I can answer this question. In my previous life, before adoption, I was an accountant. In addition, Super Dad and I completed two adoptions in 2007 and I earned money from self-employment (blogging) in 2007. Therefore, our tax return may be very similar to this reader’s tax return. The maximum tax credit that can be taken for each adoption in 2007 is $11,390. However, the credit is not a refundable credit. This means that… [more]

Am I Normal? A Guide for Teenagers

March 22nd, 2008

Chapter one covers an adoptee’s fantasies and curiosity about their birth family. Throughout the book, Danea reinforces the normalcy of a teenager’s feelings, emotions, and curiosity. She makes it very plain that everyone experiences these feelings, fantasies, and emotions at some time in their lives. She validates a teenager’s rights to feelings, whatever those feelings might be, and rights to information. She encourages journaling to help teenagers work through their feelings and track their progress. Danea states in the book that it is natural for an adopted teenager to “try to close the gaps by creating images in your mind to fit your story.” She says that teenagers may “try to fill in the missing pieces by acting in ways you imagine your birthparents would… [more]

Adopted Teens Only A Survival Guide to Adolescence – Book Review

March 18th, 2008
Categories: Adoptees, Book Reviews

I was really excited to receive a new book in the mail about adoption issues. Adopted Teens Only A Survival Guide to Adolescence is 98 pages of clearly written, useful, and relevant information organized in a logical sequence. The book isn’t actually for adoptive parents although it can be eye opening for us to understand what our teens are thinking and going through emotionally. It is written for adolescence who were adopted and are trying to make sense of it all. The book was written by Danea Gorbett and published by iUniverse. Danea had many questions and mixed feelings about her birthfather as a teenager. Therefore she wrote the book to help adopted teens work through their feelings and search for their own answers. When… [more]