Adoption: When Only Child Wants a Sibling

January 3rd, 2008
Categories: Only Child

My son, who is seven years old, has been asking for a baby sister lately. For the most part, he has seemed to be happy as an only child. I make a lot of effort to provide him with play dates and social activities so that he has many opportunities to interact with other children. However, most of his friends have siblings, and I guess it is only natural for him to desire a sibling as well. Also, during the holidays, he got to spend a lot of time with his cousins, which kind of felt like having siblings, and then went back to being the only child in the house.

If we had been able to conceive, hub and I would have had a second child… [more]

The Lonely Adopted “Only Child”

September 11th, 2007
Categories: Only Child

My adopted child is also an "only child." I had always planned to have two children who would be spaced about two years apart. This was not meant to be. By the time we were invited to do a home study to adopt a second child, my son, Nicholas, was three years old. By the time our profile was being shown to expecting mothers, Nicholas was approaching his fourth birthday. We ultimately decided not to adopt again and just to enjoy our only child.

Nicholas is now going through a tough time because of this decision. He is six years old, and he just started first grade. He is a very outgoing and sociable child, as well as a very physically active child. His favorite activity is… [more]

Parenting an Only Child: Challenges

July 26th, 2007
Categories: Only Child

Grinning Child (c) Lynda Bernhardt

In my last post, Parenting an Only Child: Benefits, I discussed the benefits of parenting an only child. In this post, I will discuss the challenges.

Although there is a lot to recommend having an only child, there are also some challenges. I have found ways to overcome most of these challenges, so I do not believe my son will regret growing up without a sibling.

Vacations and Holidays

Vacations and holidays can be difficult for my son. He is a very outgoing and social child, so he wants to play with other children every day. My son can get cranky on vacations after spending several days with no other children. As much as he loves his parents, playing with them… [more]

Parenting an Only Child: Benefits

July 25th, 2007
Categories: Only Child

Grinning Child (c) Lynda Bernhardt

Many adoptive families adopt more than one child. However, quite a few adoptive parents wind up parenting an only child. Perhaps this is due to the high cost of adoption, or perhaps the grueling adoption process is to blame. Regardless of why, there are a number of differences, both positive and negative, in parenting an only child.

I really struggled with whether or not to adopt a second time. I discussed my decision process in my post How to Decide Whether to Adopt a Sibling on the Hoping to Adopt blog. My husband and I ultimately decided not to adopt again, so I have been parenting an only child for over 6 years.

There are many benefits to… [more]

Play with me

October 19th, 2006
Categories: Only Child

During the 15 years I spent as a preschool teacher I remember two distinct different types of children at play. The type who could play alone and stay occupied and the ones that wanted me or another child to initiate play and to be played with constantly. Children learn through play. The saying goes “ play is the work of children” and it was frustrating and hard seeing a child who could not play. All children can play, but these children needed assistance playing. I remember when I was a Babysitter /Nanny for a family. The 5 year old would not play alone.She wanted me to occupy her and play with her Barbie’s with her. She had an infant sister that needed my… [more]

Bye Bye Bottle

October 6th, 2006
Categories: Only Child

I wrote about my problems letting go of my baby in an earlier post. I was prolonging her time on the bottle for attachment. I feel we made huge progress in our attachment goals and I did not feel the need to keep her on it any longer. I know that children should be weaned from the bottle around 12-14 months and here she is 22 months old. It is time. We did it… we are bottle free. It was no problem for our daughter, but then again she was only getting one a day. We had slowly weaned her down from 3 a day to 1 a day. She has not asked for it and never really was attached to it. We introduced the bottle… [more]