Parenting Concerns

A good friend of mine, Jessica, adopted a child from China about ten years ago.  When Jessica's daughter was around four, she exhibited a lot of anxiety whenever Jessica left the house.  Jessica would want to pop out for a trip to the grocery store, coffee with her friends, or even a date with her husband, and her daughter would go into a rage, screaming and clinging to her mother, begging her not to leave her.  Jessica had two other children, neither of whom exhibited this behavior, and she was perplexed as to why her daughter would feel so insecure.  And why she would do it now when she hadn't been that way as an infant or toddler. She told me about the… [more]

The other day I wrote a post about single parenthood, a fact of life for many adoptive families.  A lot of people (mostly women, but not all) choose to parent on their own, while others, like mine, become single parent homes after the children arrive.  The other day I mentioned a recent study by the Pew Research Center which indicates that there is a bias when it comes to single parents and that about 2/3 of Americans believe that families headed by single mothers are actually bad for society.  An attitude that definitely  hurts my feelings! I come to this issue from two perspectives: First, I grew up in a single parent household, and now I am experiencing it firsthand as a single… [more]

My children are daredevils. No, really. Okay, so they're not fearless, but they definitely like to try things out.  "Things" sometimes mean doing something that causes my heart to stop beating for just a second, though. But for the most part, they just tend to dive into any adventure. This pleases me greatly. Here's where my concern lies: Bear is almost four, and he has great balance, speed, and agility. Beauty, however, is almost three and has the speed down-pat, but lacks both balance and agility. This is chiefly due to the fact that she is a toe walker at all times. She is currently enrolled in an occupational therapy program that seems to help out a little bit, but she naturally… [more]

The holidays have come and gone. If you're anything like me, I'm still not back to my normal routine. I feel that I'm almost there, but not quite. It's hard to wrap my head around a whole new year, and the fact that my vacation is over. Reality is calling, and I'm trying not to answer. Chances are you and your children may be experiencing the same thing. The holidays were a busy time of year. It was filled with get-togethers, obscenely early shopping trips, delicious sugary treats, and time off of work and school. It was a time of year to be enjoyed and cherished. But once it's over, it's time to get back to your daily routine. While it may be… [more]

A healthy lifestyle is beneficial when learned early in life. Longer life span, more energy, and happiness and contentment all accompany good health. And what more could you want for your children? But for some families maintaining an active and healthy lifestyle isn't easy. It takes effort. It takes work. But it is worth it in the end. Set an Example: One of the easiest and most effective ways to teach your child about healthy living is to live healthily yourself. As you know, children watch the actions and habits of their parents. You can show them that healthy living is fun and rewarding. Along with your example, talk to your child or children about how to make healthy choices and ways to… [more]

Our Beauty is inching up on her third birthday (just over two months to go) and we've started a new addition to her daily schedule: a household chore. Some may argue that almost-three is too young to be helping around the house, while others believe that assisting with household duties should start as soon as a child is old enough to walk and talk. Bear has been "helping" around the house for as long as I can remember. He helps me dust (with a clean, dry cloth), he helps me feed and consequently let out the dog, he helps me sort laundry and he puts away all the silverware (sans knives of any sort, of course) after it… [more]

Last year, we celebrated Beauty's first Christmas. I say her first Christmas because the year prior (2007--her real first Christmas at nine months of age), we celebrated as a family of three prior to her homecoming. There were a few reasons for this, most of which being that we didn't want to overwhelm her with the overpowering newness of transition blending with tradition. At nine months of age, we knew it wasn't the same thing as welcoming home a newborn just before the holidays arrived. We had a low-key Christmas Eve and Christmas Day since Beauty hadn't even hit the two week mark of her arrival in the U.S. by the time December 24 rolled around. It was nice… [more]

I’ll admit it: my daughter, Beauty, has a Case of the Terrible Two’s. I say it with both relief and regret—relief that’s she’s developed into a two year old whose lust for independence has led her to push her limits, and regret because, well, a day without tantrums in this house has been a rarity as of late. And let’s face it, a house loaded with tantrums is not a pleasant place to be, even if it is a part of growing up and learning to stretch her wings of independence. Let me stop to clarify for a minute: tantrums, in certain forms, are completely acceptable in our home. It’s all a part of a child’s process of growing up… [more]

****I'd like to preface this post by saying that I am NOT a medical professional and do not offer this information as a hard and fast rule for all children. Please speak with your medical professionals before changing any medications for your child.**** Hubby and I have very strong feelings about medicating our children. Often, in the foster care system, kids end up with multiple diagnoses and their corresponding medications because no one really wanted to deal with the root of their behaviors. It is much easier to medicate a child into submission than it is to dig deep and help a child climb out of the holes their lives have landed them in. I believe it is unreasonable to diagnose a child with 5 different disorders… [more]

There comes a time in the life of every parent, adoptive or otherwise, where it is necessary to let a child spread his wings. In the case of an older adopted child, that moment can be harder that one would think. My son, T, has been begging to be allowed to walk home from school by himself. He is twelve years old and in the sixth grade so this request shouldn't seem shocking. But, I have only been T's mom for a year and a half. I am not ready for him to be doing anything by himself. Our house is close to a mile from T's school. It is on the same street so he doesn't have to remember any directions. He does however, have… [more]