A Less Than Stellar Performance

October 10th, 2011

redI am well aware of the intricacies of sibling rivalry. I grew up in a very large family with eleven siblings of my own. I know that siblings can love each other one minute, hate each other the next and then love again. My youngest, and my next to youngest, have been engaged in an on going tug of war of anger, jealousy and love. Days of shoving, arguing, tattling mixed with times of love, playing and laughter. A true microcosm of the larger human word and all of our interactions with each other, person to person, culture to culture, country to country. I suppose it should come as no surprise really. It was bound to happen at some point. Kids are kids, they… [more]

A Single Parent Household

April 21st, 2011

love_u_mammaThe other day I wrote a post about single parenthood, a fact of life for many adoptive families.  A lot of people (mostly women, but not all) choose to parent on their own, while others, like mine, become single parent homes after the children arrive.  The other day I mentioned a recent study by the Pew Research Center which indicates that there is a bias when it comes to single parents and that about 2/3 of Americans believe that families headed by single mothers are actually bad for society.  An attitude that definitely  hurts my feelings! I come to this issue from two perspectives: First, I grew up in a single parent household, and now I am experiencing it firsthand as a single… [more]

Re-establishing Daily Routine

January 29th, 2010

518984_a_little_girl_saying_good_night_1The holidays have come and gone. If you're anything like me, I'm still not back to my normal routine. I feel that I'm almost there, but not quite. It's hard to wrap my head around a whole new year, and the fact that my vacation is over. Reality is calling, and I'm trying not to answer. Chances are you and your children may be experiencing the same thing. The holidays were a busy time of year. It was filled with get-togethers, obscenely early shopping trips, delicious sugary treats, and time off of work and school. It was a time of year to be enjoyed and cherished. But once it's over, it's time to get back to your daily routine. While it may be… [more]

Household Chores and Developmental Delays

January 12th, 2010

Household Chores with Developmental DelaysOur Beauty is inching up on her third birthday (just over two months to go) and we've started a new addition to her daily schedule: a household chore. Some may argue that almost-three is too young to be helping around the house, while others believe that assisting with household duties should start as soon as a child is old enough to walk and talk. Bear has been "helping" around the house for as long as I can remember. He helps me dust (with a clean, dry cloth), he helps me feed and consequently let out the dog, he helps me sort laundry and he puts away all the silverware (sans knives of any sort, of course) after it… [more]

The Stability of Schedules

December 22nd, 2009

The Stability of SchedulesI've been reading over the journal I kept to document our journey of adopting Beauty, and let me tell you...it's pretty intense. I can still conjure up so many of those feelings as I read over the entries: the nervousness, the excitement, the longing, the love. This time of year is so emotional for me as we celebrate another year of our life as a family of four. I love reading those seemingly mundane updates of plowing through paperwork, but the words written once she finally arrived home? Those memories are priceless to me. Lately, I've been reading over the entries with an eye out for "lessons learned". Not necessarily in the process, but more so after Beauty arrived home… [more]

The Teeter-Totter of Time Management

December 20th, 2009

Managing Time Between Two ChildrenAs a mother of both a two and three year old, I sometimes think I have it easier than most by having two children a mere ten and a half months apart in age. I mean, they're only ten and a half months apart in age after all. Shouldn't that make my time management--and ultimately, my life--easier? In some respects, I think it does. Right now, they're both amused by many of the same things. They both enjoy preschool-geared television shows (in moderation), coloring, Play-Doh, playing outside, eating cookies (again, in moderation), etc. However, Beauty's delays as of late are becoming quite pronounced in light of Bear's advancements. He's always been a bit accelerated (he's a fast learner) but… [more]

When Adding a Child Adds Stress to Your Marriage

November 15th, 2009

When Adding a Child Adds Stress to Your MarriageWhen Bear was born, my husband and I had one uniting focus: meeting  Bear's needs and keeping him happy while we were doing so. Our marriage grew stronger as we really learned the meaning of "team effort".  Sure, there were trying moments, but overall, we did everything as a joint endeavor. I don't mind boasting that my husband, who worked two jobs, never missed a single nighttime feeding when he was home. We were just like that; we easily fell into a seamless pattern. Our transition with Beauty's arrival, however, wasn't quite as smooth. Let me preface the rest by saying that it was in no way, shape, or form the fault of Beauty. She… [more]

October 15: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

October 15th, 2009

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rembrance Day: 15 OctoberToday, October 15, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. As many adoptive parents come to their beautiful children after a struggle with infertility of some form, I felt this a fitting topic to discuss this evening. As I've mentioned in past entries, infertility had nothing to do with our decision to adopt Beauty. As my husband and I are both carriers of the Cystic Fibrosis gene, after reviewing our options we felt adoption to be the best fit for our family (rather than take a path of medical intervention). It was the best decision we could've made: I am an incredibly proud mother of one of the world's most amazing little girls. That said, the… [more]

What Does “Adoptive Parenting” Mean Anyway?

October 7th, 2009

Biological parenting this way, adoptive parenting that wayA few weeks back, I had a quick cup of coffee with a dear friend of mine. We did the usually "catch up" convos; we talked about our families, reminisced about the "old days", and laughed a lot. I mentioned in passing that I was writing for AdoptionBlogs, and a conversation of interest ensued. Basically, she understood how I'd be engrossed in writing about international adoption and Guatemala (two subjects so very near to my heart), but she didn't quite "get" the whole adoptive parenting issue. "What," she posed, "does 'adoptive parenting' even mean? And how is it different from 'regular' parenting?" Tricky. You know, the short answer is that I honestly never really thought about defining… [more]

Toddler Tantrums: Beauty’s Acting Beastly

September 16th, 2009

Beauty's Pumpkin Patch TantrumI’ll admit it: my daughter, Beauty, has a Case of the Terrible Two’s. I say it with both relief and regret—relief that’s she’s developed into a two year old whose lust for independence has led her to push her limits, and regret because, well, a day without tantrums in this house has been a rarity as of late. And let’s face it, a house loaded with tantrums is not a pleasant place to be, even if it is a part of growing up and learning to stretch her wings of independence. Let me stop to clarify for a minute: tantrums, in certain forms, are completely acceptable in our home. It’s all a part of a child’s process of growing up… [more]