Happy Mother’s Day to All the Mothers In My Life

May 13th, 2012

Back in the 1990’s I spent some time in Guatemala. Completely surrounded by a foreign culture and a foreign language (both of which became second nature to me while I was living there a while), I was a long way away from home and away from that wonderful lady who gave birth to me and raised me- my mother. I know the 90’s don’t seem like that long ago, but technologically it sure was. Email hadn’t yet become popular, so our main form of correspondence was by snail mail. And when you’re that far away it took about 2 weeks for a letter to travel from one to the other, then 2 more weeks for a reply. International calling still cost us an arm and a leg back then (or… [more]

Surviving Mother’s Day

May 8th, 2008

For many of us, Mother’s Day is not the day we had dreamed of when we started out our parenting journey. We don’t have children rushing to us with hugs and fists full of flowers. We aren’t greeted with “I love you” or children wanting to make the day perfect for us. Many of my days started with my son throwing a huge fit, possibly literally throwing things, cursing at me and other equally fun things. At some point in my parenting journey, I stopped making the day about making my kids feel good about having me for a mom, and instead I celebrate making it through another year of parenting. Not the ideal thing, but it works for me. Here are some things… [more]

Remember YOURSELF For Mother’s Day

May 10th, 2007
Categories: Mother's Day

flowerFor Mother's Day, remember yourself. This is a hard suggestion for me to follow. It's opposite of many other suggestions that even I've given this year - before I realized I was WRONG. I have learned to minimize my Mother’s Days since adopting my children. With all of their "mother issues", and because of all of these acting out concerns, it seems easier to “not have a Mother’s Day” than to offer the kids more reminders of all of the other mothers in their past and of their grief/loss issues. This year, I realized that this plan is NOT a good one, not even for my children. Most likely, they KNOW that Sunday is Mother’s Day whether I say anything or… [more]

How To Help With a Child’s Mother’s Day Behaviors

May 10th, 2007
Categories: Mother's Day

gorillasMany adopted children struggle with Mother’s Day issues. Some of the reasons for various feelings have been discussed in other blogs. We know that adopted children may act out. So, what should we do about it? What can we do to help the child and to help our family? 1. Be aware. Knowledge is power. We’ve all heard that before. Even so, it’s true. Knowing that our child might act out, that this is a possibility, will make things seem less of a problem. Even if nothing else changes, other than our having advance knowledge, it can reduce the impact of disruptive behavior for ourselves, our child and our family. If we are aware… [more]

Mother’s Day Behaviors

May 9th, 2007
Categories: Mother's Day

volcanoIt has started. My children are aware of the impending Day for Mothers. Tension is tangible; behaviors have taken a veering right from whatever normal we’d managed to achieve by last month. One girl wanted to mail a previous adoptive mother a card. She realized today that she’d forgotten about this up until now. With this realization, she was even able to use words (something many of my other children are not able to do). “I forgot to mail a card! X*#?!” With the utterance of a swear word, it seemed to flip a switch controlling arm movement. Her arm came out and gave one sweeping motion across the kitchen island where we’d been preparing dinner. Food spilled onto the floor… [more]

Mother’s Day

May 7th, 2007
Categories: Mother's Day

What do Moms really want for Mother's day? If you would have asked me prior to coming home with my daughter what I would like to receive for a Mother’s day gift I probably would have rattled off something like- Breakfast in bed, brunch, flowers, Mom jewelry, a special dinner and a nice card . Those are just a few ideas that I think about when I think about Mother’s day. Today that is far from my mind as Mother’s Day approaches. So what do Moms really want? I can tell you what I would love to receive on that special day set aside to honor Moms. This is just my view. I would love to sleep in past 6.30 am. I… [more]

Mother’s Day Cards

April 26th, 2007
Categories: Mother's Day

aLast night, I shopped at WalMart. That alone is not a shocker; I go to WalMart 2-3 times every week. This time, however, there was a little surprise waiting for me. I had three adopted children with me. We bought some batteries, a child’s birthday toy, and a 4th grader’s needed blue binder. Next, a giant row of Mother’s Day cards hit us nearly flat upside the head. I can’t answer for my kids, but for myself, it felt like a 2x4 across the head/chest and it took my breath away. I’m not sure why I wasn't more ready. Perhaps calendaring is becoming less and less a talent of mine. But, I was not prepared for… [more]

Fixating on Mother’s Day.

May 17th, 2006
Categories: Mother's Day

Everyone has moved on from Mother's Day, but I am still stuck. As with all things weird about me, I chalk up that kind of stuff to some Freudian dynamic or another. Freudian explanations of the weird are even weirder and so somehow it all makes perfect sense. I love the efficiency of that! Freud would say that I am fixated at some earlier stage of psychosexual development. Now don't be so quick to dismiss this psychobabble as, well, psychobabble. Instead, contemplate the following: I am a motherless daughter and I am a motherless mother. I have been the former for almost 20 years, the latter for the past 12 years. Can you think of a… [more]

Let’s Make Every Day Mother’s Day!

May 14th, 2006
Categories: Mother's Day

I know it's just a thought and it will never happen, but, really now, dontcha think that every day should be Mother's Day? Wouldn't it be great if we honored mothers and were honored as mothers 365 days a year? I wanted to join in along with all the other bloggers and write something beautiful and moving on Mother's Day, but it seemed that they all covered my sentiments exactly and anything I might share would be redundant. Like many other mothers around the country I had a wonderful day full of gifts and cards and phone calls and emails and a delicious meal. I was Queen for a day. It is so much fun watching the kids deliver their goodies and their love and… [more]