Last year, we celebrated Beauty's first Christmas. I say her first Christmas because the year prior (2007--her real first Christmas at nine months of age), we celebrated as a family of three prior to her homecoming. There were a few reasons for this, most of which being that we didn't want to overwhelm her with the overpowering newness of transition blending with tradition. At nine months of age, we knew it wasn't the same thing as welcoming home a newborn just before the holidays arrived. We had a low-key Christmas Eve and Christmas Day since Beauty hadn't even hit the two week mark of her arrival in the U.S. by the time December 24 rolled around. It was nice… [more]
I hope that all of my adoptive family readers are having a very Merry Christmas today. I also send good wishes to other members of the adoption triad as well as those of you who celebrate other holidays at this time of year. Foster children are also in my thoughts today. I hope that every foster child will spend next Christmas with his or her forever family.
Christmas is a good time to reflect upon the joy of being an adoptive family. I spent four empty Christmases longing for a child. No matter how nice the gifts or how delicious the food, there was an empty place at my table. That place was not filled until a wonderful woman named T chose us to adopt her baby… [more]
If you adopted an older child, your child might misbehave around the holidays. While most children get more excitable as the holidays approach, some older adopted children might become withdrawn or irritable. This behavior can baffle some adoptive parents because the holidays are generally seen as a time of joy for children.
Children who have experienced pain and/or trauma can react to Christmas much differently from other children. When the child sees the Christmas tree, she might be reminded of experiencing abuse at this time of year, possibly in front of another Christmas tree. The Christmas tree might trigger memories of having to fend for herself while her birthparents passed out drunk for the night. The child might remember not receiving very nice presents while in… [more]
Things are slowly getting back to normal here in our household. Thank Goodness. Don’t get me wrong, it was a pleasure and a joy to experience Christmas with a toddler, but yikes am I exhausted and Oh man was my girl over stimulated and can you guess whom she lashed out at? That would be me… Mama. On Christmas night she hit me in the face, not once but twice, nice gift huh? I broke all my attachment rules, messed with her schedule and allowed affection from people she does not know very well. She was kissed, hugged and passed around and around. I pushed the issue and encouraged her to be affectionate with relatives who spoiled the heck out of her. I… [more]
What a whirlwind this Holiday season has been, I promised myself I would relax and truly enjoy it this year instead of being the perpetual hostess and running around like a chicken with my head cut off as is typically the case. I stayed true to my word and I took my own advice from my stress free Holiday post. I downsized my gathering,I said No, I cheated and bought store bought lasagna, and easy bagged salads, I dressed up a store bought cheesecake and spent all the time I saved with my family. Things still got hectic, as hard as I tried to keep everything low key, our daughter still became easily over stimulated and we probably could have toned things down… [more]
From Our Family to Yours... wishing you health & happiness this Holiday Season…
I know most people have shopped by this point in the season, besides for those true brave procrastinators out there who will be shopping this weekend. Perhaps you forgot about someone, or a guest calls and asks if they can bring along a friend, maybe you need a hostess gift or you need something fast. I always try to have a few general small wrapped gifts for this scenario. I like for everyone attending my gathering to have something to open. A coffee mug filled with hot cocoa packets & cookies, a box of Chocolates, a Christmas CD, a stocking filled with goodies are a few great all purpose gifts. Here is my last Christmas related Top 5 post. 1. A bottle… [more]
I have held a gathering on Christmas Eve for as long as I can remember. I think it all started in 1990 the year after my Grandmother passed away and since she normally held Christmas Eve at her house, I decided to take over. We do that in my family, we tend to split the holidays and take turns hosting. I have moved quite a bit over the years from apartment to apartment to apartment as a single gal, and then I fell in love and got hitched and moved 30 miles across town and moved from a condo to a house. Each year most of my small family has faithfully attended. They have tolerated my low ceilings in my studio attic… [more]
Just like us and for many other new adoptive families out there in blog land. This will be the first Christmas they are celebrating as a new family or with a new addition. What a wonderful time and exciting time. For the family newly home they are probably exhausted and trying to establish some sense of normalcy and routine. They may be facing attachment issues or having issues around mealtimes & sleep. We have been home for over eight months and while we are settled with our routine we still plan to keep things low key. Christmas is always bustling with holiday activities, excitement and fun. For a child that just arrived home this may all be a wee over stimulating for the… [more]
My husband is always telling me that I can't save the world. I know he's right. Sorta. I can't save the world all by myself. But, I could save the world if everybody in the world who was able would just pitch in and help me. I can't adopt every child who needs a family. But I am convinced that every child who needs a family could have one if every family that was able would just step forward. I'm not promoting an unrealistic idea. I really believe what I am writing. I think that there is a family for every single waiting child. I might not be a good match for a child with special needs, but there is a parent, or… [more]