Love Language

October 22nd, 2013

4343621338_394f7baa33_oHave you ever heard of the five love languages? I was having a conversation with one of my friends the other day and I was talking to her about how my daughter is overly affectionate.  Now, seeing how my daughter came from foster care and she was probably not given that attention and love I think she craves it a lot more. She does know proper boundaries with other people outside of her family because we have worked on that with her, but she does like alot of affection from her dad and me.  Okay now back to the conversation with my friend. She told me about this website that tells you how you express your love and I decided that… [more]

Parents are Parents, Not Adoptive Parents

September 5th, 2013

shirtI don't know if Rick and Teresa Kaepernick are mad but I'm mad for them.  They are the parents of San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick.  If you watch ESPN or almost any of the other sports outlets, you know that Colin is adopted.  You know this because every story about Colin that mentions his parents refer to them as his adoptive parents.  It's unnecessary.  They are his parents.  No adjective needed. Best known as an underrated high school player with only one college scholarship offer who, in his second year in the NFL, set the record for most rushing yards by a quarterback in a game before leading the 49ers to the Super Bowl.  As the spotlight shines brighter with Colin's… [more]

No Contact

August 15th, 2013

memoriesMy son is four, almost five now.  When he was younger we would talk to him about adoption.  He did not ask much about his birthparents.  We would show him a picture of his birth family and tell him his birth story.  It was not until we started the process with adopting our daughter that he started getting more curious.  He was able to meet our daughter's birth mom and play with her other daughter.  Of course this brought up many questions about his birth mom.  The first year we would send pictures and letters to our son's birth mom.  We never heard back from her.  After about a year we lost all contact with her.  Trying to explain this to my son… [more]


March 6th, 2013
Categories: Adoptive Families

me and lilmanMy mom never really talked about the hard times she had with me as a kid, but there was one story I remembered hearing her tell another young lady who had adopted a child that always kind of stuck with me throughout the years. When I was three days old my parents came and picked me up. It was a pretty amazing story, they were expecting to get a daughter in a few months but had received a last minute call from the adoption worker saying that a young mom had chosen them as parents and that if willing they could come pick their son up the next day. This threw everything in to chaos. First off they were expecting a… [more]

From “Gooooal!” to “Bravo!”

November 21st, 2012

soccerRasmussen's are soccer players.  Whether you were born into our family or adopted in, that's what we do…or so I thought.  We have six kids, 3 bio, 3 adopted.  Our adopted kids are sandwiched in the middle with an older brother (13) and younger twin sisters (4).  We have two boys adopted from Ukraine (age 10, not bio brothers) and a daughter (9) adopted as a newborn (a domestic open adoption). Did you know that everyone does not like the same things?!?  Yes, I knew that was probable, bio or adopted, kids are all different.  I assumed a child with my DNA would be more likely drawn to the same activities that I was programmed to enjoy, and to some extent that is… [more]

Mercy Trails Ranch

November 15th, 2011

horsesF-E-A-R-L-E-S-S  Letters spelled out in splashes of bright paint across the soft brown sides of the little horse.   A four legged canvas for the word that she wanted to stay forefront in her mind as she thought back to her time at the Ranch.  Words attached to memories.  Memories that she tucked away like treasures to be brought out in times of struggle and darkness.  Memories that would give her the strength to break free. Those memories threatened to flood her even now, fresh on her mind, as she stepped back to admire her art.  The intimidation at the size of her partner for the week- how the little mare seemed so large that first day.  She remembered her uncertainty the first time… [more]

Telling The Truth

October 10th, 2011

planeIt was a beautiful day yesterday.  A treasure to enjoy before the cold weather sets in.  Early fall, the sun was shining, the leaves just starting to turn orange, red and yellow.  We ran around as a family; cleaning the garage, cheering at soccer games, friends stopped by, the boys looked for frogs and played wiffle ball in the backyard. In the afternoon, my husband piled as many boys as he could fit in his car and took them out to lunch. I took Eliza, my four year old in my car. She wanted McDonalds (sorry health nuts), or Old McDonalds, as she calls it, so we went to get her Happy Meal, and I got the requisite boring mom salad.  We… [more]

A Less Than Stellar Performance

October 10th, 2011

redI am well aware of the intricacies of sibling rivalry. I grew up in a very large family with eleven siblings of my own. I know that siblings can love each other one minute, hate each other the next and then love again. My youngest, and my next to youngest, have been engaged in an on going tug of war of anger, jealousy and love. Days of shoving, arguing, tattling mixed with times of love, playing and laughter. A true microcosm of the larger human word and all of our interactions with each other, person to person, culture to culture, country to country. I suppose it should come as no surprise really. It was bound to happen at some point. Kids are kids, they… [more]

Celebrating Family

July 6th, 2011

paper_family_ii-I love the word family and how it has evolved. 50 years ago, if we would have asked a group of people what a family was it would have been such a boring answer. "A dad, a Mom, and 2.5 children." Maybe they would have gotten really crazy and added a pet. I love the fact that we are living in a generation where all families can be accepted. I was a young mom. I had my first son at 19 and decided to become a solo parent. His biological father was not the kind of person that I wanted to influence my child so I figured that me alone was better than us together. It was the best decision that I… [more]

Happy Father’s Day!

June 19th, 2011

645389_father_and_sonIt's Father's Day and across the country dads are opening up presents: ties, barbecue tools, car gadgets, the latest technological mechanism guaranteed to make their life easier.  Or perhaps they are going to spend the day on the golf course--after breakfast in bed, no doubt!  Whatever it is, I hope all dads get to celebrate. I've made this observation before, but it seems that the adoption literature is full of stories written by adoptive mothers.  We hear their voices and know their perspective.  No doubt it has to do with the fact that when it comes to adoption, often it is the woman who is the driving force. But what of adoptive fathers?  Who are these men who willingly go along with their wives… [more]