Happy Father’s Day!

June 19th, 2011

645389_father_and_sonIt's Father's Day and across the country dads are opening up presents: ties, barbecue tools, car gadgets, the latest technological mechanism guaranteed to make their life easier.  Or perhaps they are going to spend the day on the golf course--after breakfast in bed, no doubt!  Whatever it is, I hope all dads get to celebrate. I've made this observation before, but it seems that the adoption literature is full of stories written by adoptive mothers.  We hear their voices and know their perspective.  No doubt it has to do with the fact that when it comes to adoption, often it is the woman who is the driving force. But what of adoptive fathers?  Who are these men who willingly go along with their wives… [more]

Adoptive Parenting: Two Beautiful Years

December 13th, 2009

Adoptive Parenting - 2 Year Anniversary"Adoption" means many things to many people. Two years ago today, I couldn't imagine how my world would change, how the power of one word could and would transform everything. Tomorrow isn't Beauty's birthday; it's not her "A-Day" in either Guatemala or the U.S. But it is one of the most special days of the year for me. Tomorrow marks the second anniversary of the day I met my daughter for the first time. I just finished baking her homecoming anniversary cake. It's pink, since that's her favorite color, with chocolate frosting and tons of sprinkles (she's a girl who loves her sprinkles, let me tell you). And I'm blissfully happy. I've been flipping through photo albums--all the… [more]

On “Baby” Showers for Adoptive Parents (or the lack thereof)

October 13th, 2009

celebrating the stork: baby showers (or the lack thereof)I had the privilege of attending my first-ever "adoptive mommy-to-be" shower (via the internet, might I add, but still a shower nonetheless). And let me tell you, it was fantastic! I know the situations vary from family to family, but in ours, you typically receive one baby shower in honor of your first baby. Of course, if there are "special circumstances", the rules are a bit different (my mom being one example: my brothers are ten and twelve years older than I so she no longer had an arsenal of baby items at her disposal while pregnant with yours truly), but for the most part, that's how it goes. I wasn't expecting a shower while… [more]

On Anti-Adoption Rhetoric…

September 6th, 2009

Let me be the first to say that I believe in the freedom of speech wholeheartedly. If I don’t agree with your stance on something or you personally don’t subscribe to my theories on insert-topic-here, I welcome that difference. As long as there’s no slander/ abusive language or concepts (and the like) involved, I believe the element of debate in speech is one of the greatest freedoms one can maintain. That said, I will admit to this: the first time I heard a handful of anti-adoption rhetoric, it floored me. I’m not writing this blog today to try to convince you that adoption is the answer, or that your opinion of the very process should be purely favorable, no matter the surrounding circumstances. To be… [more]

On Memories and “Firsts”…

August 22nd, 2009

It’s Saturday morning, and we have a full day of “home-based” activities on the horizon. We’re baking banana bread (with a hint of lime as I’ve found to be customary in many of my readings about Guatemalan recipes), we have crafts lined up (the kids are really into creations made with construction paper cut-outs of their hands right now), we plan on giving the dog a bath (insert groan here)—a full, nice day. Throw in clean up, most likely bath time, hopefully a nap, and meals, and our day is set. But the weather outside is not typical of August in Chicago; it’s cooler, very autumn-like, and it has me a quite a bit nostalgic. Memories are amazing, sometimes funny, and often beautiful things. I… [more]

On B-Days…and A-Days

August 17th, 2009

When you have kids, birthdays are suddenly a big deal. By birthdays, I mean the birthdays of your child(ren), not necessarily your own birthday. My pre-motherhood birthday celebrations usually involved going out with a bunch of my friends and my main squeeze, all dolled up for a night on the town. Once Bear came along and then Beauty, my birthdays became back seat occasions of my own choosing. But my kids’ birthdays are HUGE events in our home and in our family. It’s not to say we spend a fortune or throw amazingly lavish parties, but more so we just really celebrate our children, our family, our life. It’s incredible, and we really try to spend the day focused on the blessings we’ve received in our… [more]

On Adoptive Parenting: Blending Adoption and Biology

August 10th, 2009

Years before I married or even thought of having children, I knew I wanted to adopt. It's a topic on which I've always felt strongly, but back then I had no idea just how much or how beautifully it would shape my life. The actual details that led my husband and I to adopt merely sealed the deal: this is the path we were destined to take. Adoption has made my life so joyful in so many different ways. While pregnant with our son, Bear (now three years of age), I elected to take all the genetic screenings offered. One of the blood tests was a screening for the carrier gene of Cystic Fibrosis. I have to admit this much is true: I had little idea… [more]

What Do Adoptive Parents and Adopted Teenagers Have in Common

March 26th, 2008

Many teenagers were adopted as infants and might be the only adopted child in the family. Therefore, they wouldn’t have a clue what their parents went through so many years ago to adopt. Danea explains it quite well. “From the time your parents decided to adopt you, their lives have been scrutinized, analyzed, and picked apart by total strangers. Their destiny, and yours, was at the mercy of these strangers who searched for flaws in their personalities, abilities, intellect, and potential parenting skills.” That is pretty much what our adoptive family has gone through with each renewal of our homestudy and foster care license. We have had 10 updates to our original adoptive homestudy and seven renewal of our foster care license. Although, foster care… [more]

My Keynote Address. Conclusion

October 26th, 2006

You can click on the links below for parts one and two of my keynote address that I delivered at an adoption celebration luncheon last week. My apologies that I am posting it in bits and pieces. Perhaps at some point i will post it in its entirety. We'll see Part I Part II Part III: So, I am not going to give you a rah-rah speech about your decision to travel along the path of adoption. Because while you deserve to be honored and celebrated for your decision you will be better served by holding on to the awesome love that you ahve for your children because adoption just is. I am not going to talk about how adoption changes the life of a… [more]

My Keynote Address Continued

October 24th, 2006

This is part two of a keynote address I gave at an adoption celebration hosted by the county in which I live, Prince George's County Maryland. Please click here for part one. Continuing on: Just like giving birth to a child, with adoption every experience is different. There is no one size fits all adoption experience. Some of us adopt after already having had a child placed in our homes as a foster child. Some of us learn about our children for the fist time with a photo or a case summary. Some of us meet our children for the first time at an adoption matching party, or at a park, or like we did, at McDonald's. However our… [more]