Kids’ Adoption Questions

February 23rd, 2010

Adoption Questions (Kids)"Why do we have to see a judge?" Bear asked for quite possibly the hundredth time. "A judge is someone who helps complete adoptions," my husband offered. "Oh," said Bear, clearly unimpressed. "But we get to go out to dinner after that, right?" Hey, you have to have priorities, no? While I think both of my 'older' children have a good grasp on and understanding of adoption, there are definitely details and components they just don't 'get'. They understand that a social worker helps get your family ready for a new baby; they understand that birth moms are a part of our family, too. They understand that adoption is a something that we celebrate in our family. They comprehend "a-days" and how they differ… [more]

New Baby, New Routine

February 20th, 2010

New Baby, New RoutineI have an admission to make: I am a former (definitely former--definitely mostly former) control freak. Granted, it's gotten a lot better since Bear made his debut in May of 2006; having kids kind of takes the edge off in that way. And in many ways, I have learned to let the little things go. I'm a lot more relaxed, a lot less bothered by things beyond my control. However, while I am flexible, I still appreciate routine. I'm not rigidly adhered to our schedule, but I do like predictability. Prior to the addition of Bella to our family, we had a pretty simple but predictable routine.  Toddlerhood was making way for the preschool circuit, and we were at the… [more]

It’s a GIRL!

February 16th, 2010

Sweet Baby Bella - February 2010I am slightly sleep deprived. Wait, let me back up. I have a new baby--a beautiful little girl--and I'm slightly sleep deprived. Sometimes life takes some unexpected turns. And sometimes the outcome of said unexpected turns is amazingly beautiful. As some of the more regular readers might recall, we were in the process of adopting from Ethiopia. Long story short, before we even started on compiling our dossier, we had a change of heart and decided to pursue an adoption through the foster care system. In the middle of December, we met with our new social worker (did I mention we needed a completely new home study even though we just had a favorable one approved in July? More on… [more]

Understanding Adoption: Explaining the Process to a Child

September 27th, 2009

Bridging the Gap: Adopting Across the WorldToday, Bear approached me and said: "Mommy, when are adopting my brother?" I told him I didn't know, but that adoption can take a long time sometimes. We talked a bit about Beauty's adoption from Guatemala and how it took a bit of time to get the paperwork in, and then we had to wait to find out she was in need of a family, and so on. He sat down beside me, and put his head in his hand and said, "This sure is a big deal then." Yes, baby. It's a big deal. A big, beautiful, and sometimes, seemingly-endless deal. I am continually amazed at the level of understanding my kids possess when it comes to… [more]

Trying to Sell Your Family When You Want to Be Chosen for Adoption

July 4th, 2008

If you are trying to adopt a newborn then you create a profile of your family. The purpose is to sell your family as the best choice to a potential birthmother. If you are adopting from foster care then you are trying to sell your family to an adoption worker. When you inquire on an available child over the internet, a form pops up and you must fill in information about your family. The worker may only read the first few lines before deciding to finish reading or toss the application in the circular file. Is there anything you can do to increase your family’s chance of being chosen? Include one or more pictures. Yes, even if you are sending your homestudy to an adoption worker to… [more]

Adopting Again Part 2: Is it time?

April 26th, 2007
Categories: Adopting Again

So In yesterdays post I left off that at this point we are content with our daughter and feel busy and happy with our jobs of raising her. We feel that we have room in our hearts and home to adopt more children but we are not sure that now is the time to do that. I want to trust those instincts that are telling me that at this point we have our hands full with our daughter. I want to nurture her and focus my energy on her for now. When do you know its time to add a child to your family? Do we start now? Knowing how long this process can take? If we wait until we feel ready then… [more]

Adopting Again Part 1

April 25th, 2007
Categories: Adopting Again

So we have been home for a year now. Our toddler is becoming more self sufficient, she is doing more and more for herself and when I see her playing with little friends my thoughts have been drifting to whether or not we will add another child to our family. Lately I’m seeing pregnant women wherever I turn. I still feel that sense of longing to get and be pregnant. That inner craving that I think most women can relate to. We have no intentions of going through that whole IVF nightmare all over again. So unless a miracle occurs and we do get pregnant, we welcome miracles around here. We rationally assume that if we want to build our family we will… [more]

Longing for a child – Foster Care as an option?

January 2nd, 2007
Categories: Adopting Again

foster child It surprises many to learn that my husband and I never intended to adopt a child. I’m not just talking about us not intending to adopt the first child, but we have actually never intentionally set out to adopt ANY child. Yet, somehow, they came. 24 more children. We’re sure not complaining about that! While I have never longed specifically to adopt, a few times I have desperately longed for another child either vaguely or specifically. It’s that longing that spurred on the experiences of our last 8 years. We had three children yet I desperately longed to have four. Four children had always been my dream. Some claim that I could not know the pain of… [more]

Would I Adopt again?

November 8th, 2006
Categories: Adopting Again

I remember while in Russia and going through all the uncertainty of court, the 10-days not being waived, visiting our daughter and still feeling on shakey ground not really knowing what the heck was going on. Another couple traveling with us had housing/ lease issues with court and they were put through the wringer. I would sit with the woman and we would both be in tears saying “ never again” that we would never go through this again as its just such an emotional ride. Always feeling under the microscope, having every detail of your existence examined so that you can parent a child you have been longing for.At that point I was an emotional wreck and had enough of this adoption… [more]

An Adopting Spirit?

September 13th, 2006
Categories: Adopting Again

My son's best friend has been staying with us since the weekend because his parents are away on business. I am always surprised how easily he fits into the rhythm and flow of our family when he stays over. He and my son are always spending the night back and forth between their two houses for days at a time, going out of town with each other's families, etc. This is the first time he's ever stayed for such a long stretch. His mom will be arriving shortly from the airport to take him home. I know he misses his parents and they miss him, but my son, of course, wants him to stay. I want him to stay, too. Forever! I joked… [more]