Finalization

When an adopted child first comes into your home, the joy and excitement the little one brings is magical. There is nothing like that euphoria. You fall in love. However, when the child's health or behavioral challenges surface, an adoptive parent's imagination can easily drum up dark fears.   While a birth parent worries about the child's issues, as an adoptive parent, you may also worry about the issue plus the unknown or known history of the adoptee's background. You may even hear the haunting voice from a family or friend who was against your adoption, "Why adopt?  You don't know what that child has in her background." This is when you must stay strong. Separate the facts from fiction.  Your… [more]

"Why do we have to see a judge?" Bear asked for quite possibly the hundredth time. "A judge is someone who helps complete adoptions," my husband offered. "Oh," said Bear, clearly unimpressed. "But we get to go out to dinner after that, right?" Hey, you have to have priorities, no? While I think both of my 'older' children have a good grasp on and understanding of adoption, there are definitely details and components they just don't 'get'. They understand that a social worker helps get your family ready for a new baby; they understand that birth moms are a part of our family, too. They understand that adoption is a something that we celebrate in our family. They comprehend "a-days" and how they differ… [more]

While we are celebrating with parties today (or recovering from parties, as the case may be), let's focus on a fun part of adoptive parenting – the finalization party! After all of the hard work you did to become your child's parents, your family deserves to kick off your legal status as a family by having a party.

In my state, you do not go to court for the finalization if the adoption is uncontested. So, the paperwork just arrived in the mail one day with no pomp and circumstance. While that piece of paper was extremely important to me, there was nobody to celebrate it with. (Even my son was sleeping when it arrived.) So, we planned a party.

The adoption decree arrived in June, so… [more]

Today was an adoption day in our family! It’s been a long time coming. Still, I was surprised when it all seemed to go off without a hitch. No stop-ups! Not any major ones at least. We left a little before 6am this morning. All showered, cleaned, hair fixed up, breakfasted. (This is a feat for my kids. It’s monumental for the mom!! I’m NOT a morning person!) Three vehicles packed full of children - all the way through one city in rush hour morning traffic - to the next city 2hrs away that was then having their rush hour traffic. In this next city (“city of adoption”) the three vehicles split up and each goes to a different RTC to pick up one of… [more]

Our adoption finalization date is only a couple of days away! I’ve been through this experience a few times before. Still, I am nervous and jittery. I think it’s a combination of excitement mixed with a little bit of fear that something could possibly go wrong to stop it. I’m sure that won’t go all the way away until everything is truly finalized. So, we prepare. We’ve called our family and friends. We’ve invited them to the courthouse for the adoption itself and/or to the lunch scheduled afterwards. It will be interesting to see how many choose to attend. While all have been supportive of our childbirth style additions, not one of them neglecting to come by the… [more]

We have a date! After three years of waiting, we’ve finally been given a court date to finalize the adoptions of our littlest sibling group of five. Later this month, if all works out, we’ll be standing before a judge. And then we want to celebrate! Share your celebration ideas and experiences! We have adopted several times in the past and have developed a sort of “traditional day” already. But I’m wondering if we could add or change something to make this one a little different, just something to make it a little “different special”. In our county, the adoption hearings are attended by the families in person. (I know some states do the adoptions in closed hearings and… [more]

Yay! Today is May 11th. That's the day the girls came home for good. No more trips back and forth between the foster mother's home and our own. No more hellos leading up to goodbyes. No more waiting for days and weeks between seeing each other and learning to love one another. Just a great big welcome into our lives forever. I will never forget the excitement of that day. And as is always the case when adding to the family, our lives have never been the same. The girls have not asked to hear their coming home story for a little while. They are over due for their quarterly dose of how I ended up in the hospital on the day that we were scheduled… [more]

The days and months after delivering my son were like riding a roller coaster. Here we are almost 12 years later and there are days when it feels like my husband and I are still adjusting to excitement of having our "baby" boy. Of course the adjustment was different after we adopted the girls because they were older and we already had a six year old. It was not the same as bringing a baby home from the hospital, and not only were we adding one, but two, new children to the mix of our family. Before the final placement day arrived there had been lots of transitioning visits, but that was different. They were just that, visits. Once the final placement was made, then it was time to get… [more]