For the past several days, I have been discussing how to handle talking with an adopted child who was conceived through rape or incest. Several readers have contacted me with questions that I did not cover in this series, and I am working my way through answering those questions.

One reader asked the following question:

Do you know of any online resources that discuss ways to talk to kids about rape, or that suggest any strategies... more

For the past several days, I have been discussing how to handle talking with an adopted child who was conceived through rape or incest. Several readers have contacted me with questions that I did not cover in this series, and I am working my way through answering those questions.

One reader raised a question that I had not even considered: How do you talk to your child about being born as a product of prostitution?

Prostitution is known as "the... more

For the past several days, I have been discussing how to handle talking with an adopted child who was conceived through rape or incest. Several readers have contacted me with questions that I did not cover in this series, and I am working my way through answering those questions.

One reader asked the following question:

How [do you] deal with the fact that we can't know with absolute certainty the "true" story of what happened to our... more

For the past several days, I have been discussing how to handle talking with an adopted child who was conceived through rape or incest. Several readers have contacted me with questions that I did not cover in this series. My next three posts will respond to those questions.

One reader asked the following question:

What ages would be ideal for telling a child this information? We are thinking before the teenage years, but how early is... more

Throughout this Adopted Child Conceived by Rape/Incest Series, I have been exploring the difficult issues surrounding whether or not to tell your adopted child that he was conceived by rape or incest. I combined the two topics because, in most cases, pregnancy resulting from incest was also through rape. The only difference is that a blood relative committed the rape. While most of the issues surrounding rape and incest are the same, some important differences... more

If you choose not to tell your adopted child that he was conceived through rape or incest, you will be living with a secret for the rest of your life. This secret can be an emotional time bomb waiting to explode if your adopted child finds out in another way. Before deciding to keep this information a secret, consider the following issues:

1. What will your cover story be?

Your child is likely to have questions about his birthfather that you will need to answer. If you choose to keep the truth a secret, then you will need to have alternative answers... more

If your adopted child was conceived through rape or incest, should you tell him? Many people argue that an adopted child should never be told this information. Here are the reasons why:

1. This knowledge can affect your child’s self-esteem.

It is a struggle for many teenagers to feel good about themselves. Between their raging hormones and all of the angst that comes along with the teen years, many teenagers struggle with their self-esteem. A child’s adoption adds another... more

If you choose to tell your adopted child that he was conceived through rape or incest, you will need to proceed with caution. This kind of information has the ability to set off an emotional explosion for your adopted child. Before discussing this information, consider the following issues:

1. Decide when to tell your child this information.

Rape and incest are difficult topics for adults to discuss, and they are even more complicated to discuss with a child. This is not information... more

If your adopted child was conceived through rape or incest, should you tell him? Many people argue that an adopted child is entitled to know this information. Here are the reasons why:

1. An adoptee’s history is his own.

Many people argue that an adoptee is entitled to know the truth about his own life. No matter how ugly the truth might be, an adoptee’s right to know the truth outweighs well-meaning secrets. Nobody likes to feel like everyone around him knows more about his own history... more

One of the most controversial areas of adoption is the decision of whether to tell an adopted child that he was conceived as the product of rape or incest. Many people feel very strongly one way or the other, and each side of this issue makes some very good points. I do not have the answers for whether it is better for an adopted child to know this information about his beginnings. However, I can offer you a discussion about both sides of the issue and then let you draw your own conclusions.

I have combined the... more