This blog is a continuation of the story of getting proper help for our very mentally ill son, John. The short version of the previous blog is that he really needs help, we received notice from state mental health that they are terminating services for John, and we sent in an appeals packet at the very last possible moment.

We’ve done this a few times before in our journey of parenting kids with mental illness, emotional disorders, or behavior disturbances.... more

While we are still waiting for our OT referral for Livi’s sensory seeking issues I have been reading all I can get my hands on about SID and a sensory diet. A sensory diet just means planned & scheduled activities to do with your child under the guidance of an Ot to provide the child’s nervous system with the input it needs. It is something that is done at home, school and in therapy sessions. A sensory diet will be created especially for your child depending on his/her sensory profile and needs. What works for one child may irritate another child,... more

One of my adopted sons does not live in our home. He is still part of our family, yet we parent him in a different way, with him living in a residential treatment setting. The extensive abuse that he suffered in his early years, combined with a genetic history that was not kind to him, have sadly come together causing this gorgeous, charming boy to not have the skills nor ability to live in a family setting.

I’ve blogged before about our struggles... more

I have three daughters, adopted at ages 15-17. Our home was their first adoptive home in all three cases. In all three cases, the children grew up in a home with both birth parents. In all three cases, there were extenuating circumstances in the birth homes that prevented healthy attachments for the girls – parental mental retardation, severe/life threatening health issues from infancy on, parental mental illnesses, or birth parents who were completely emotionally unavailable. Yet, the girls remained in those homes until their... more

“If we adopt a baby, we can avoid attachment problems.” “If we adopt an older kid, they come with attachment problems.”

Two statements that I hear quite often. But, are they true? I don’t think so.

True attachment disorder occurs in a span from conception to the first few years of life. So, anyone from babies thru adults can have a diagnosis of reactive attachment disorder. It’s the early experiences that the diagnosis is based on and not things that happened in a child’s life after those... more

Part 1 Part 2

So, what are the options? Some have suggested that we disrupt his adoption back to the state. We *could* do this, but we won’t for two big reasons. First of all, in our state, disrupting an adoption back to the state results in automatic legal charges for the parents! If he were a birth child that we turned custody... more

Only 7 months later, John entered his first residential treatment center when his behaviors began to become serious safety risks for himself and the others. He was 6 years old. He had a long list of mental health diagnoses, none of which seemed to truly match this perplexing little boy. We had some home visits with John. At the last home visit, he somehow managed to get hold of some bleach (in spite of all the systems we had in place) and put it in the fish tank to “see if the fish liked to drink it” (They did; they died.). He pointed out poisonous... more

How is it that a mother can actually be arrested FOR seeking treatment for her adopted child?

A certified letter was delivered to my front door this afternoon. This letter was terminating the intensive level of residential services my adopted son now receives. I, of course, will be sending an appeal package first thing next week. And so it continues, the several year long battle for proper care for my very first adopted child.

John arrived to our home at 3yrs old, our very first foster child. (Although we later adopted... more

We are just starting out on the Early Intervention road to figuring out what is up if anything with Livi. I have a referral for an OT- occupational therapist and we will find out if Livi does have a sensory integration disorder or if all these behaviors are typical for both a toddler and PI- post institutionalized child. When I tell family about Livi being a sensory seeker and her sensory behaviors they ask what’s that? It’s hard to explain; I find it easier to explain a sensory sensitive or sensory avoiding child because we all know children... more

My daughter is a sensory seeker… she is rough and tough. She hugs hard and often head butts me a few times before each snuggle. She has head butted my nose hard enough to bring me to tears; hard enough for me to think it could be broken. She has pinched me, bitten me, cracked me in the cheekbone a dozen times, bruised me, given me a fat lip, popped me in the mouth, in the eyes, and kicked me too many times to count. It seems that not a day goes by that I don’t sustain an injury of sorts. Im not being dramatic here, it happens daily.

She can be snuggling in my lap watching tv and she... more