Sucking the air outI would like to address a comment made on a blog that I wrote on July 2, 2008 entitled “Place Older Adopted Children With Stay at Home Parent.” In that blog, I stated that older adopted children typically come to their new family with abandonment issues. I realize there are many other issues involved, but I am addressing just abandonment for now. In the summary of the article I stated, “Try to find a way to spend those first... more

Though our therapist felt our daughter was “adjusting beautifully” at our last visit, she did schedule a follow-up, just to “check in.” Today, about a month out from the last visit, we had the check-in appointment.

Once again our daughter went off for her one-on-one with the therapist, though for this visit their “alone time” was a little longer. When I finally got to go in, it was much the same as last time! Our therapist feels that our daughter has truly made remarkable progress... more

Hereditary Spherocytosis is a relatively uncommon blood disorder, occurring in 1 person out of approximately 5,000.

As the name suggests, the condition is primarily an inherited one. With this condition, the blood cells are mutated, and are atypical cells with very thin walls. Because the cells are not the shape healthy red lbood cells are, they have difficulty passing through the body. However, unlike sickled cells, they do not cause pain as they pass through the body. A hallmark of the condition is that the spleen retains these cells longer because of their... more

In my quest to obtain more information about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PSTD), I’m hearing a lot of buzz about EMDR. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. From what I understand, it is an eight-stage information processing technique. It appears to be hailed as a particularly effective treatment option for sufferers of PTSD. I only saw a few sites that mentioned use in the treatment of PTSD in children. Therefore, it’s not something I can use to help me here and now with the issues my six-year-old is facing, but rather research for future reference,... more

For so long, my daughter took on the personal responsibility of ensuring her younger brother was safe. She’s a total “protector” and has been in “full mama mode” for some time now.

For children who are used to “being in charge,” it’s hard to let go once they are in the safe confines of an adoptive family.

My daughter routinely goes beyond whatever instructions I give her. If I ask her to put her dishes in the sink and rinse them with water, she will wash them with lots and lots of dish soap. Not a huge deal, unless it makes a big mess that I then have... more

On my post Traumatized Adopted Child's Need to Purge Emotions, a reader posted the following comment:

Getting the kids to let it out seems to be the really difficult part. They have learned so well to keep the protective shield up, that it is very difficult to get past that. One of mine never did, and pays a price for that trapped anger. Any chance of a post of 'how to' in getting the child to start letting that trapped stuff out? Great post Faith.... more

One very difficult aspect of parenting is trying to help a child who harms himself. While self-injury is definitely not limited to the adopted child, your child is at a higher risk of struggling with self-injury if he lived in a neglectful or abusive environment before joining your family. How can you help your adopted child to stop harming himself?

Self-injury is anything that a child does to harm himself on purpose. Many people believe that self-injury is synonymous with cutting, but cutting is only one of many forms of self-injury. Here are some other... more

In my last post, Parenting Abused Adopted Child: How to Handle Unsupportive People, a reader posted the following comment:

It's not logical to expect children who have been through things children shouldn't go through to heal overnight, but it is true that they have to choose to heal. But how can someone convince them to choose to heal if healing hurts so much? – Chromesthesia from Parenting... more

On my post, How to Help Abused Adopted Child Heal from Dissociative Disorder, a reader wrote the following comment:

Now for the post on surviving this and dealing with people who don't understand that your child can't just be "fixed" right now. Thanks for this. This blog is really a lifeline some days.

In my last... more

On my post, How to Help Abused Adopted Child Heal from Dissociative Disorder, a reader wrote the following comment:

Now for the post on surviving this and dealing with people who don't understand that your child can't just be "fixed" right now. Thanks for this. This blog is really a lifeline some days.

Living with someone who is recovering from trauma is a challenge, whether that person struggles with Post-traumatic... more