I don’t think enough is said about post adoption depression. I think many pre-adoptive parents think it won’t happen to them. I was one of those who wanted a child so badly that I never considered an adjustment period. I could never imagine myself anything but blissfully happy as a new mom. I dismissed any notion and was not willing to consider it. I think other adoptive parents suffer silently out of shame and fear. I typically will only speak for myself in most situations but today I speak for the new Mom that suffers in silence.

After all we have... more

You know I have not thought much about my infertile days since becoming a Mom through adoption eight months ago. When I have thought about it, it was more along the lines of why did I go through all that & why did I not adopt sooner. For those of you who don’t know my husband & I went through the whole gamut of Infertility procedures ending with the most scientific IVF w/isci and they all failed. I don’t think about it mostly because I’m to dang busy chasing after a toddler. Occasionally I will see a teeny baby and get that familiar pang, but then... more

Oh my, what preconceived notions I had about raising a daughter. I had assumed that when starting out on the adoption road that we would get a boy since we did not specify a gender. That’s what everyone told us… there is a waiting list miles long for girls and many boys need homes too. We just wanted to parent a child. We just decided we would be lead to the child we were meant to parent.I squealed with delight when we got our miracle girl. I had visions of tea parties and Barbie’s dancing in my head, oh how easy I would have it. Sure when... more

Before becoming a Mom I use to talk to my friend & a Mom of three kids. I inquired about how she and her husband deal with arguments and issues that come up in their marriage. I asked if they fight/argue in front of the kids? I remember her saying that they “don’t have time to fight”. One thing that concerned me prior to becoming a Mom is how to deal with little rifts & not so little arguments that arise when your parents.Its inevitable. I feel strongly about not arguing with my husband in front of our daughter. I don’t want her to see us like that or pick... more

Since I have been so candid this week and openly bashed my poor husband I thought I would post a picture of the day we became Mr & Mrs and share some of the good stuff. I asked my husband prior to planning this week of Marriage themed posts if he wanted to read anything before hand. I wanted to make sure he was comfortable with what I was putting out there in Blog land. He declined to read it and that shows that he trusts me. While I may portray my side & perspective he knows I will be honest. Our relationship & marriage has gone through... more

I swear if I hear my husband mutter those words once more I may go crazy. I interrupted his very important computer video game of saving the world or some other equally important game to ask for help with our daughter. As usual on a sunday morning I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off doing morning chores so that I could enjoy the rest of my day and be involved with my daughter & husband. I try to do chores when my daughter is napping or when my husband is home so that he can be with our girl. She stands at the gate crying “Up” while I’m doing... more

I don’t want to make it seem as if adopting made our marriage worse, it actually strengthened us in ways we could not imagine. I’m a better person, friend and wife now that I’m a Mom. I think that in general stress can bring out the best or worst in people. Adoption is stressfull- the time, travel, money all add up to stress. All the issues we struggled with once becoming parents were not brand new issues to us. They were always there; I think we just had more time & energy to focus on them as a childless couple. As parents we felt the need to rise above... more

So I last left off that my husband and I were having communication issues .We had been home a few months and had focused all of our energy on our daughter’s attachment and feelings of security. My husband contracted Hep A from my daughter, spent time in the ICU and quickly was working six days a week again. We had no time to face the issues that were brewing. We had such little time together I did not want to spend it arguing.Any attempts we made to bring up issues were quickly heated and we got defensive. John used sarcasam as his weapon of choice. I used... more

We knew that adding a child to our lives would change things. Everyone knows that right? I guess like many aspects of parenting you really cant prepare for all the changes that occur in your marriage once your home with your new child. We were both ready to become parents. We married late and had our own lives carved out prior to getting married. I loved my low paying job in social services, managed to travel to the Bahamas twice, fulfilled my dream of snorkeling and spent money on my hair & purses. My husband focused on his hobby of sports... more

She’s smarter, faster, louder, and is acquiring new verbal capacity on a daily basis. She can shoot a defiant look like nobody’s business and out run her Mom in no time flat. She has brand new molars and she is not afraid to use them. This new 2.0 version of Livi is much more advanced than Livi 1.5. I have a few questions... when exactly will Livi 2.0 start obeying? When exactly does it get easier? this parenting business. Maybe the 3.0 version will be easier to parent. I’m one worn out Mama.She never stops. I know, I know all toddlers are active,but... more