Sometimes kids get stuck in bad behavior and it’s hard to break them out of it. It seems like an endless string of bad behavior that leads to a consequence that leads to an angry child with bad behavior that leads to a consequence and the loop just continues.

It is hard to get out of this cycle, even if you’re adult. Being a child and trying to find the way out of it can be extremely difficult. Sometimes our kids get stuck in these ruts because they have all these feelings inside that they can’t verbalize or may not even understand. They may not know that it’s... more

My relationship with my family is strained at best, and a great majority of it is because my family does not agree with the way I parent my kids. My kids have all come through foster care and have had traumatic backgrounds. I cannot parent them the way you parent “normal” children.

Many other families struggle with extended family relationships as well. As parents we also walk a fine line with what to reveal about our children in order to help our family understand what we are dealing with, and respecting our children’s privacy.

The other... more

When I was little, my mom was rarely ill. But the few times I remember her ever having a cold, I would go into her room and offer to “help” and she would just say how she wanted to be left alone. Oh, my poor little feelings were so hurt. But, now that I’m the mom of three, I think I understand where mom was coming from!

I blogged last week about my abnormal mammogram finding . Today, I had the follow-up biopsy. I’ve been preparing the kids for Mommy not feeling 100% over the last few days.... more

My two youngest have had an insanely crazy week! They will each alternate between following the rules and being the “Voice of Reason” for the others; or they completely fall apart and lose it, reminiscent of their first few weeks here.

Today my daughter almost threw one of her tantrums – something we've not seen since her second or third week home after the adoption. She deescalated just in time, but the signals were there. She's also been having issues with one of her youngest brother's friends. This little girl follows the kids around. True, she does a few annoying... more

What is the third leading cause of death for teenagers and young adults those from 15 to 24 years old? If you said suicide then you are correct. What causes teenagers or young adults with an unlimited future ahead of them to choose suicide over life? The number one cause of suicide in the United States is depression. If you suspect your child is suffering from depression, don’t wait. Seek medical help and therapy right away. A federal government survey released on May 13, says that over two million teenagers... more

As a kid, I loved board games, but never played the very popular Game of Life. Now, as an adult, I still love games, though I play more of them on the computer than anything else.

Imagine, then, my joy at finding a “newfangled” version of the game of Life for the computer! But, boy, is it ever fast-paced. With my ADD, there are times in the game where I just get mind-boggled with all the activity going on! At various stages of... more

It was bound to happen. We can all pretend that racism is a thing of the past, yet we know in our hearts that it isn’t. We were told during transracial adoption training that it would happen and that we needed to prepare our children for it. Of course, we didn’t think it would really happen to us. It may be especially difficult for those of us raised in Midwest, middleclass, suburbia to accept. We were never exposed to racism growing up because we weren’t exposed to people of other races enough to say so. My high school had three blacks in attendance and two of them were actually... more

This week, I have been writing about medicating my adopted child for Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and the emotions that this process has evoked in me. One emotion I am facing is guilt.

Hub and I had a blow up this week over the medication issue. In the course of this argument, hub pointed out how I always said that I would not feel complete without a child. The reason we even adopted in the first place was because I would not rest until we had a child.... more

In my post, Adoption Regrets: Manipulations, readers shared in the comments their own stories of having important health history information withheld until after the adoption was finalized. One reader posted the following question:

I am still stumped as to how to process anger and bitterness, and grief and regret . . . Do you have any suggestions for how to "make the best of it" and get on the other side of the negative feelings? – Scrapsbynobody from Adoption... more

Many couples wind up only adopting one child. One reason for this is the high cost of adoption. Another reason is that many adoptive couples are older when they choose to adopt, and they do not want to start over with a second child as they approach their forties or fifties. Regardless of why they only have one child, some couples wind up regretting that their child has no sibling.

The regret can run even deeper when the child is a very social kid who would likely have flourished with a sibling in the home. The adoptive parents can feel guilty or sad about seeing... more