Cont'd from yesterday's post:

I came in on the movie at the part where Stuart had already been reunited with his first parents. I started looking at my daughters intently, who then started looking at me intently. I looked away. They looked away. I looked back at them. They looked back at me. This went on for a few exchanges. Finally, my youngest daughter gives me that "What? What is it?" exassperated face. I start babbling away, trying to "process" the movie. After about 15 seconds of my rambling, all three of the kids shouted with barely contained irritation, " Oh, Mommy! Please! We're... more

I read on one of the other Blogs (sorry, but I can't remember which one now) that the adoption storyline in Stuart Little is not the most sensitive treatment of the matter. To be honest, I had not really thought about it. I'd like to think that I catch negative media images about adoption and that while I might not necessarily shelter my chidren from those images, I am able to judge the impact on them and make a decision about the need for further discussion. However, the Stuart Little thing went right over my head.

The bit where Stuart's first parents show up, decide... more

My daughters look so much alike but they have distinctly different temperaments and dispositions. My "baby" is a teeny tiny thing no bigger than a minute. She looks like a newborn pony on stilts. She is always the smallest one in her group of peers. She is feisty as all get out, takes no gruff, and is very demanding in her assessment of who qualifies as a friend in her life.

My oldest daughter is of average size for her age. Although she fits right in with her friends, she often marches to the beat of her own drummer. Her life is like an open book. Everything she feels shows on her face from... more

Warning. Today's post is unabashedly biased. There will be absolutely no objectivity and no effort will be made to present a balanced picture of adoption. The only qualifier I am willing to concede to is that I am talking about loving adoptions, not the ones that go horribly awry resulting in children being subjected to abuse, neglect, and all other like manner of child abuse. Loving adoptions, are a good thing.

When a child is rescued from a family of abuse and neglect and given a second shot at a life filled with love and hope; that, is a good thing.

When... more

I just read this article about the seven core issues that are triggered by adoption. The article states:

Adoption triggers seven lifelong or core issues for all triad members, regardless of the circumstances of the adoption or the characteristics of the participants:

1. Loss

2. Rejection

3. Guilt and Shame

4. Grief

5. Identity

6. Intimacy

7. Mastery/control

I found this to be a... more

One of my favorite parenting rituals as an adoptive parent is the telling of The Story of how we became a family. I've written about this before, but, every time it comes up I always find it moving. My kids seem to enjoy repeating The Story, or, hearing about it from me when we are spending special time together. Take holidays and vacations for example. It is just a given that one of them will end up talking about how we became a family, or asking me to tell The Story during Thanksgiving and Christmas. It has become a part of our holiday ritual.

Also, I've noticed that it comes up when we are away together on vacation. That happened just this week when we took off for a short two... more

My husband and I took The Tribe (my nickname for my kids and any of their friends who happen to tag along with us) to see Ice Age 2 last night. Shirley, one of my very closest friends and the mom of my son's very best friend, tagged along. She and I sat and ran our mouths before the movie began about the Gospel of Judas, which we both find fascinating. I so value her friendship. Shirley is a really bright and intellectually curious person, a dyed in the wool born-again Christian with very traditional beliefs... more

My kids began their Spring Break today. My son's best friend since preschool is staying over tonight. That could easily turn into a weekend visit. That's fine by us. He is such a wonderful kid and his mama "done raised him good." When he visits it never feels like an extra child is staying overnight, just another one of our own.

We all went out to dinner tonight to a restaurant that serves good homecooked comfort food and that is also very child friendly. It makes the dining experience feel almost good as home. We enjoyed a leisurely dinner and sat around talking and laughing.

It's neat when all four of the kids (ages 8,9,10 and 11) are are together. Every once in a while... more

One of the first rules of writing is write what you know. Yesterday, I wrote about parenting in a closed adoption because that is what I know. My thoughts about open adoption are built mostly around my fantasy of what it might be like, not the reality, because I don't know the reality.

It has been helpful for me to read and learn about open adoption from the true experts, like Maja and Ellen, our top notch bloggers on birthparents and open adoption.

In many ways I am jealous of adoptive... more

Yesterday, I wrote about my son's better than expected adjustment to our adoption of the girls. I was feeling pretty confident and rather smug about the way he seemed to work right through the kinks that came up in the initial phases.

I'm not particularly objective, but, I am rather impressed with how well our children get along with one another despite typical and sometimes intense sibling squabbles. When push comes to shove they watch out for one another and they take care of one another. At times it has required some prodding, but, in general my son has done a first rate job at being... more