Recently, the question was posed: How many teenagers would be too many in a home? The question was asked by a friend who has several children in her family, but is currently hoping to adopt one child, a girl. This girl will eventually be a teenager, like her other children will, and so this thought has come about in considerations between herself and her social worker.

Good question. Not that I know a great answer, but it’s a good question. So, I thought about it and I emailed her an answer. Then, I asked my teenagers for their... more

My youngest son had an accident earlier today and ended up needing to go over to Urgent Care to be seen. During his time with the intake worker, there was a point in the conversation where I was proud to mention that my son came to us 3yrs ago and is adopted.

Later, when the doctor came in to see his injury, my son chose to share his “Joey-ness”. He burped. He tried not to say anything; he really did. But he couldn’t help himself. “Doctor,” he said “I burped!”. I laughed. I semi-apologized for his public burp and announcement.... more

I don't know how to write this post without coming off as snarky or jealous. I'm just going to write what is in my head and heart and hope it comes out the way I intend. The problem with blogs is that you can't always pick up on sincerity or sarcasm.

While visiting blogs and forums I often read about new families; you know the type the 1, 3, 6, 9 month home type updates and what always strike me as odd or different are claims like the following: he has had no problems attaching or she has just adjusted beautifully or unlike some of... more

On Mondays, I drive two daughters to therapy 2+hrs each way. For most of the ride home yesterday, we discussed which of my kids’ birthparents I’d met and not met, seen pictures of, etc.

All of my kids are enthralled with any information they get about their birth parents, from the ones who lovingly chose an adoption plan to even the ones who had abused the children in their pasts. They cherish any information. So much so that this once led to a problem. Then 9yr old Rebecca became very upset with me. We’d been working on every child’s scrapbooks... more

This blog category is titled Adoptive Parenting. My son in law just asked me the question, “How is that different from ‘regular parenting’?”

Good question. How is parenting adopted kids any different from parenting kids that are not adopted? My instant reaction was to think “Oh no, parenting is parenting, whether for adopted or non-adopted kids.” The real answer is that, at least sometimes, it couldn’t be more different!

So, how did “adoptive parenting”, specifically, affect my day today, then? Did it? I thought about... more

This is the second of four articles where Caroline (17yr old adoptee from Russia) shares her thoughts on adoption issues. Today, she answers questions about very difficult adoption experiences.

Our family has a lot of children from disrupted adoptions, including you. People often ask me why a child doesn’t do well in one family, but can make changes in a different home. What are your thoughts about that?

I don’t really know. Sometimes I think I have ideas, but then I think some more and change... more

Attachment was the subject of two great blogs today - Lauri at adoptive parenting and Owlhaven at Ethiopia Adoption shared thoughts on attachment issues that had me reflecting on some my own experiences.

The question was asked of how long does it take for a child to attach. Holly, from the Africa Adoption blog, shared that she'd once been told to allow one year for each year that the child is old. Early in our adoption days, particularly those of adopting children with attachment disorder (yes, on purpose), we were told the... more

I recently sent out a form letter via email to our small group of family & friends. It stated that we were going back to basics so to speak with Livi and wanted to return to the Mama & Papa only meet needs concept. We did this in our early months home and we are planning to do it again for the time being. Recently I have been really lax with this and as a result I’m seeing anxious attachment behaviors. I’m guilty of thinking that because she is doing better in her attachment and because we have been home a certain amount of months that we can bend the... more

So, you’ve left your first adoptive family. Now, you’re a kid from a disrupted adoption. How do you feel about that? At first, this is what I thought: I figured I wouldn’t stay here anyway, so I didn’t care about this new family. In my whole life, everyone lies, so I’m not going to trust anyone here. I was angry. I was angry at the adoptive parents and the older brother. I was angry that my littlest sister stayed there with them.

But, I don’t like the word ‘disrupted’. I’m not a 'disrupted kid'. What’s wrong... more

Caroline has been sharing the story of her adoption from Russia at the age of 11. Today, she tells about events leading to the disruption of her first adoption.

You came from Russia to America. Your parents were trying to parent you, but ended up sending you to two different families to spend some time. Did you stay with families other than those first two? Yes. Our parents took us to another state to stay with a family that they knew. We were there about three months and went to school there. This... more