Mommy Shopping was a new behavior my daughter was exhibiting a few months after coming home.I thought I would share my experiences with it and how we dealt with it. It first happened a when a female friend came over to take our pictures for a newspaper article about our adoption. My typically clingy affectionate daughter flat out ignored me, refused eye contact, lashed out at me. All the while she was charming, warm and overly friendly with our visitor. It made for capturing a warm & fuzzy picture difficult. After our visitor left my husband and... more

Lately my daughter has been very clingy and showing signs of anxious attachment. I thought I would delve into what anxious attachment looks like for us, how it shows itself and discuss it in general. It seems that with most of her behaviors that you could say “ well that is typical for any toddler”, don’t most toddlers go through this phase? While that may be true, the anxiety a PI child shows is quite different or at least I suppose it’s different than the clinginess a homegrown child exhibits. The anxiety that my daughter seems to experience is less... more

More of my favorite personally received rude comments about my children and/or parenting:

I was walking through the grocery store with four children. We were just doing our shopping, not bothering anyone. A lady approached me and asked if I’d mind if she asked me a question. “Ummm……okay, sure”. Then she looks me straight in the eye and – I kid you not! – asks me if I’d mind if she paid for me to have a hysterectomy!!

Again, I had no ready answer. I can’t even remember what I said to her. But, I did get home without the hysterectomy.

I... more

Rude comments. About your child. About your parenting. What parent hasn’t heard them?

They aren’t exclusive to adoptive moms or foster moms. I remember a few from when I was “just” a birth mom. But, since we've added children to our family “non-genetically”, It sure seems that we hear them much more often now!

A couple of “fun ones” that we’ve heard over the years (translate to “most offensive” and, oh, it was HARD to limit this to just a few…):

At the grocery story,... more

My daughter goes to a playgroup every Friday. The Mom’s sit in a really cool observation room behind a police like mirror two way glass where we can see & hear our little angels in action but they are none the wiser that we are watching. The Mom’s all talk about general Mom stuff and somewhere along the line I mentioned that we adopted Livi from Russia. This past week this one Mom asked me about our adoption… at first her questions were the general type “was it a hard process?” and such… the curious questions that almost everyone has.... more

Did you ever just have one of those days where you feel like you have not one ounce left to give? .... yesterday was just one of those days. Livi and I were getting on each others nerves. There are days that Livi seems to just really test the last amount of patience I have and yesterday it was in short supply.It's really hard to articulate how days like yesterday drain me and make me feel like the worst mother in the whole wide world.

I knew raising a toddler would be hard work. I did not know it would be this hard, I was not... more

So I have been blogging for Adoption blogs.com for just over five months now and I’m trying to find a nice balance. While I’m still working out some kinks in putting together posts that have a purpose, I’m feeling more comfortable and ready to let my hair down. In theory it seems so easy to just write down what you want to say. Sometimes the ideas and posts flow and others I’m at a loss to put down into words what I want to tell you all about. I also have a personal blog and my husband often tells me I should blog on this site the... more

Television- the boob tube as my late grandfather referred to it. How much is too much when it comes to our children? I was one of those who always thought that I would be really strict with the TV. All of a sudden my daughter loves TV. In the past she did not seem to into the television. I kept noggin on for her and occasionally Moose A Moose singing would grab her attention. The past few months she has really discovered the magical square box that entertains her (noggin). She loves watching dvd’s- specifically Blues Clues or Disney... more

My daughter has been going through a clingy stage…. I guess given the alternative of a child who is withdrawn and avoids physical contact that this is a good sign. Sometimes it’s difficult to have a 31 lb kid hanging on you all day. My body aches with having her hanging on me all the time and not to mention the fat lips, and bruises from her loving head bumps and bangs. It has come to the point that I don’t even want my husband to hug me at the end of the day. I just have had enough of being pawed at from my daughter. I’m concerned with the manipulative nature of... more

I cant believe its been 10 months already, last month we celebrated our first referral anniversary and we are officially on the waiting list to start getting occupational therapy for sensory issues. Livi has come so far in ten months. She has gained 10 lbs, grown 5 inches and hardly resembles her referral picture. It’s been an amazing process to watch her flourish and thrive.

The Good-

Her attachment, while this continues to be a one step forward, two step back process for us she is no doubt attaching and is growing more... more