Though our therapist felt our daughter was “adjusting beautifully” at our last visit, she did schedule a follow-up, just to “check in.” Today, about a month out from the last visit, we had the check-in appointment.

Once again our daughter went off for her one-on-one with the therapist, though for this visit their “alone time” was a little longer. When I finally got to go in, it was much the same as last time! Our therapist feels that our daughter has truly made remarkable progress... more

In my quest to obtain more information about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PSTD), I’m hearing a lot of buzz about EMDR. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. From what I understand, it is an eight-stage information processing technique. It appears to be hailed as a particularly effective treatment option for sufferers of PTSD. I only saw a few sites that mentioned use in the treatment of PTSD in children. Therefore, it’s not something I can use to help me here and now with the issues my six-year-old is facing, but rather research for future reference,... more

For so long, my daughter took on the personal responsibility of ensuring her younger brother was safe. She’s a total “protector” and has been in “full mama mode” for some time now.

For children who are used to “being in charge,” it’s hard to let go once they are in the safe confines of an adoptive family.

My daughter routinely goes beyond whatever instructions I give her. If I ask her to put her dishes in the sink and rinse them with water, she will wash them with lots and lots of dish soap. Not a huge deal, unless it makes a big mess that I then have... more

On my post Traumatized Adopted Child's Need to Purge Emotions, a reader posted the following comment:

Getting the kids to let it out seems to be the really difficult part. They have learned so well to keep the protective shield up, that it is very difficult to get past that. One of mine never did, and pays a price for that trapped anger. Any chance of a post of 'how to' in getting the child to start letting that trapped stuff out? Great post Faith.... more

One very difficult aspect of parenting is trying to help a child who harms himself. While self-injury is definitely not limited to the adopted child, your child is at a higher risk of struggling with self-injury if he lived in a neglectful or abusive environment before joining your family. How can you help your adopted child to stop harming himself?

Self-injury is anything that a child does to harm himself on purpose. Many people believe that self-injury is synonymous with cutting, but cutting is only one of many forms of self-injury. Here are some other... more

In my last post, Parenting Abused Adopted Child: How to Handle Unsupportive People, a reader posted the following comment:

It's not logical to expect children who have been through things children shouldn't go through to heal overnight, but it is true that they have to choose to heal. But how can someone convince them to choose to heal if healing hurts so much? – Chromesthesia from Parenting... more

On my post, How to Help Abused Adopted Child Heal from Dissociative Disorder, a reader wrote the following comment:

Now for the post on surviving this and dealing with people who don't understand that your child can't just be "fixed" right now. Thanks for this. This blog is really a lifeline some days.

In my last... more

On my post, How to Help Abused Adopted Child Heal from Dissociative Disorder, a reader wrote the following comment:

Now for the post on surviving this and dealing with people who don't understand that your child can't just be "fixed" right now. Thanks for this. This blog is really a lifeline some days.

Living with someone who is recovering from trauma is a challenge, whether that person struggles with Post-traumatic... more

Over on the Reactive Attachment blog, Nancy wrote a post entitled Tantruming or purging? in which she described the way she helps her traumatized adopted children purge their painful emotions, including anger. In the comments, mater wrote the following:

The "Catharsis Hypothesis" was destroyed decades ago by researchers who found that encouraging people to act out their anger only made them 1.) angrier and 2.) more prone to act on that anger, i.e.... more

For the past several days, I have been discussing how to handle talking with an adopted child who was conceived through rape or incest. Several readers have contacted me with questions that I did not cover in this series, and I am working my way through answering those questions.

One reader asked the following question, which relates to the child's own rape rather than his birthmother's rape:

Are you going to cover rape/incest that happened... more