I have been trying to work up my courage to go purchase and read a book that I've been hearing a lot about lately, "The Girls Who Went Away" by Ann Fessler. NPR describes Fessler's book this way on their site:

Using her own story of adoption as a basis for her book, Fessler tells the story of over a million women who surrendered children for adoption prior to legalized abortion.

The focus of Fessler's book is on the heartbreak of adoptions that are coerced. I don't think this is a book I would have even considered reading before I began to write my blog for AdoptionBlogs.com and as a result, also, was exposed to so many different viewpoints on... more

I ended my discussion yesterday about supporting your adolescent's reunion with his or her parents with suggestions about making the initial contact a campaign of written exchanges. I emphasized the fact that this method of communication could go on for months. Once you and your child feel you are developing a meaningful rapport with your child's birthparent via this method of communication it is time to move to the next level of contact.

Before, I go into the details of this any further, let me now digress and explain the psychobabble rumination about why I developed this particular... more

I have read with great interest the many posts here, and on the adoption forums, about the different aspects of reunions. I have not run across anything yet that offers suggestions on specific therapeutic steps parents can take to promote a positive reunion experience.

I have a protocol that I have used for years in supporting adoptive parents, who contact me with concerns about the when and the how of supporting their child's reunion efforts. Typically these calls come from the parents of teenaged children who have started to express an interest in meeting their mom... more

My daughters are getting older, and I am finding that I am the one who is starting to feel the compulsion to initiate The Search. I don't know that I've ever read about that anywhere. Adoptive parents who feel the need to Search, not for their kids'sakes, but, for their own.

I am quick to point out that this desire is qualitatively different from a willingness to have an open adoption. I did not want that and I do not at all regret that choice. But, I love my kids so much. So much, that I am starting to feel the need to know more, to experience more, about them.... more