As discussed in another blog, it is extremely important for our children that their moms and dads use a team approach in parenting them. This includes current parents, previous parents and birth parents if still actively involved in the child’s life. Children have a finely tuned ability to notice any “weak spots” in the team parenting, hone in on those, and use them to “conquer and divide” or to cause dissension among the adults. This seems especially true with adopted children,... more

Mom and Dad. Both parents to the same child. But, are they parenting as a team? Are they partners? (For purpose of this blog, it is assumed that the parents are married. Of course, there are other situations. Hopefully, you can find yourself in this blog, even if not your same situation.)

I think all of us want to be parenting partners with our spouse. Even when our spouse also wants to be a parenting partner, does it always seem like it’s working out the way you’d planned?

Often, I find that my husband and I, while in the same house... more

Before becoming a Mom I use to talk to my friend & a Mom of three kids. I inquired about how she and her husband deal with arguments and issues that come up in their marriage. I asked if they fight/argue in front of the kids? I remember her saying that they “don’t have time to fight”. One thing that concerned me prior to becoming a Mom is how to deal with little rifts & not so little arguments that arise when your parents.Its inevitable. I feel strongly about not arguing with my husband in front of our daughter. I don’t want her to see us like that or pick... more

Since I have been so candid this week and openly bashed my poor husband I thought I would post a picture of the day we became Mr & Mrs and share some of the good stuff. I asked my husband prior to planning this week of Marriage themed posts if he wanted to read anything before hand. I wanted to make sure he was comfortable with what I was putting out there in Blog land. He declined to read it and that shows that he trusts me. While I may portray my side & perspective he knows I will be honest. Our relationship & marriage has gone through... more

I swear if I hear my husband mutter those words once more I may go crazy. I interrupted his very important computer video game of saving the world or some other equally important game to ask for help with our daughter. As usual on a sunday morning I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off doing morning chores so that I could enjoy the rest of my day and be involved with my daughter & husband. I try to do chores when my daughter is napping or when my husband is home so that he can be with our girl. She stands at the gate crying “Up” while I’m doing... more

I don’t want to make it seem as if adopting made our marriage worse, it actually strengthened us in ways we could not imagine. I’m a better person, friend and wife now that I’m a Mom. I think that in general stress can bring out the best or worst in people. Adoption is stressfull- the time, travel, money all add up to stress. All the issues we struggled with once becoming parents were not brand new issues to us. They were always there; I think we just had more time & energy to focus on them as a childless couple. As parents we felt the need to rise above... more

So I last left off that my husband and I were having communication issues .We had been home a few months and had focused all of our energy on our daughter’s attachment and feelings of security. My husband contracted Hep A from my daughter, spent time in the ICU and quickly was working six days a week again. We had no time to face the issues that were brewing. We had such little time together I did not want to spend it arguing.Any attempts we made to bring up issues were quickly heated and we got defensive. John used sarcasam as his weapon of choice. I used... more

We knew that adding a child to our lives would change things. Everyone knows that right? I guess like many aspects of parenting you really cant prepare for all the changes that occur in your marriage once your home with your new child. We were both ready to become parents. We married late and had our own lives carved out prior to getting married. I loved my low paying job in social services, managed to travel to the Bahamas twice, fulfilled my dream of snorkeling and spent money on my hair & purses. My husband focused on his hobby of sports... more

I guess its complain about my Husband week as seen in this post.My husband & I often disagree on what type of expectations we should have of our toddler. I tend to be on the more strict side while he tends to have a “ kids will be kids” attitude. While I agree that we should not expect behaviors of her that are beyond her comprehension or abilities. I don’t see anything wrong with having certain expectations because how else will she learn right from... more

You know sometimes this Parenting business is hard work…well not just sometimes but all the time. When you add the attachment parenting to the mix it can get really hard. That leaves one worn out Mama. Holding time can be emotionally and physically draining. My husband respects my wishes about holding time but wants no part of it. He can see the payoff but does not really like it or agree with it. I have asked him to read up on it and encouraged him to express his concerns and do his research for and against it.After all we are a team and if he could bring a good... more