For many of us, Mother’s Day is not the day we had dreamed of when we started out our parenting journey. We don’t have children rushing to us with hugs and fists full of flowers. We aren’t greeted with “I love you” or children wanting to make the day perfect for us.

Many of my days started with my son throwing a huge fit, possibly literally throwing things, cursing at me and other equally fun things. At some point in my parenting journey, I stopped making the day about making my kids feel good about having me for a mom, and instead I celebrate making... more

For Mother's Day, remember yourself.

This is a hard suggestion for me to follow. It's opposite of many other suggestions that even I've given this year - before I realized I was WRONG.

I have learned to minimize my Mother’s Days since adopting my children. With all of their "mother issues", and because of all of these acting out concerns, it seems easier to “not have a Mother’s Day” than to offer the kids more reminders of all of the other mothers in their past and of their grief/loss issues.

This year, I realized that this... more

Many adopted children struggle with Mother’s Day issues. Some of the reasons for various feelings have been discussed in other blogs.

We know that adopted children may act out. So, what should we do about it? What can we do to help the child and to help our family?

1. Be aware.

Knowledge is power. We’ve all heard that before. Even so, it’s true. Knowing that our child might act out, that this is a possibility,... more

It has started.

My children are aware of the impending Day for Mothers.

Tension is tangible; behaviors have taken a veering right from whatever normal we’d managed to achieve by last month.

One girl wanted to mail a previous adoptive mother a card. She realized today that she’d forgotten about this up until now. With this realization, she was even able to use words (something many of my other children are not able to do). “I forgot to mail a card! X*#?!” With the utterance of a swear word, it seemed to flip a switch controlling... more

What do Moms really want for Mother's day? If you would have asked me prior to coming home with my daughter what I would like to receive for a Mother’s day gift I probably would have rattled off something like- Breakfast in bed, brunch, flowers, Mom jewelry, a special dinner and a nice card .

Those are just a few ideas that I think about when I think about Mother’s day. Today that is far from my mind as Mother’s Day approaches. So what do Moms really want? I can tell you what I would love to receive on that special day set aside to honor... more

Last night, I shopped at WalMart. That alone is not a shocker; I go to WalMart 2-3 times every week. This time, however, there was a little surprise waiting for me.

I had three adopted children with me. We bought some batteries, a child’s birthday toy, and a 4th grader’s needed blue binder. Next, a giant row of Mother’s Day cards hit us nearly flat upside the head. I can’t answer for my kids, but for myself, it felt like a 2x4 across the head/chest and it took my breath away. I’m not sure why I wasn't more ready. Perhaps calendaring is becoming less... more

Everyone has moved on from Mother's Day, but I am still stuck. As with all things weird about me, I chalk up that kind of stuff to some Freudian dynamic or another. Freudian explanations of the weird are even weirder and so somehow it all makes perfect sense. I love the efficiency of that!

Freud would say that I am fixated at some earlier stage of psychosexual development. Now don't be so quick to dismiss this psychobabble as, well, psychobabble. Instead,... more

I know it's just a thought and it will never happen, but, really now, dontcha think that every day should be Mother's Day? Wouldn't it be great if we honored mothers and were honored as mothers 365 days a year? I wanted to join in along with all the other bloggers and write something beautiful and moving on Mother's Day, but it seemed that they all covered my sentiments exactly and anything I might share would be redundant.

Like many other mothers around the country I had a wonderful day full of gifts and cards and phone calls and emails and a delicious meal.... more