Most foster families already have one or more other children in their home when they accept placement of a foster child. How do you explain the concept of foster care and foster children to your other kids?

At our house, it hasn’t been a huge issue. I suppose it’s because our children were very young when we began foster care. We had 3 birth children, ages 7, 4, and 17mos. We also were parenting a niece, age 3. We had been raising our niece since she was three months old, so having that situation be a normal part of our family situation almost surely... more

My daughter goes to a playgroup every Friday. The Mom’s sit in a really cool observation room behind a police like mirror two way glass where we can see & hear our little angels in action but they are none the wiser that we are watching. The Mom’s all talk about general Mom stuff and somewhere along the line I mentioned that we adopted Livi from Russia. This past week this one Mom asked me about our adoption… at first her questions were the general type “was it a hard process?” and such… the curious questions that almost everyone has.... more

So I have been blogging for Adoption blogs.com for just over five months now and I’m trying to find a nice balance. While I’m still working out some kinks in putting together posts that have a purpose, I’m feeling more comfortable and ready to let my hair down. In theory it seems so easy to just write down what you want to say. Sometimes the ideas and posts flow and others I’m at a loss to put down into words what I want to tell you all about. I also have a personal blog and my husband often tells me I should blog on this site the... more

My youngest son had an accident earlier today and ended up needing to go over to Urgent Care to be seen. During his time with the intake worker, there was a point in the conversation where I was proud to mention that my son came to us 3yrs ago and is adopted.

Later, when the doctor came in to see his injury, my son chose to share his “Joey-ness”. He burped. He tried not to say anything; he really did. But he couldn’t help himself. “Doctor,” he said “I burped!”. I laughed. I semi-apologized for his public burp and announcement.... more

My oldest daughter asked me that question tonight. We were coming home from the winter extravaganza at her school. She sings in the chorus. This was her first performance where she was all dressed up and on a stage. Well, that's not quite accurate. She has participated in all those cutesy-cutesy school programs over the years, but this was different. She is in The Chorus. They are a group. You know that clique thing that emerges in schools. The science kids. The music kids. The drama kids. The jocks. So forth and so on. She told me they call themsevles the... more

The girls are adopted. That is their life. I can't make it be something that it's not. It is what it is." I have made this comment, or something like it, at various times since adopting the girls. It intended to end some discussion or another related to adoption that has begun to make me feel uneasy, or irritated, or just plain stupid. So when I say, "It is what it is," I don't even know what I really mean by that. I just know that when I say it, other people nod sagely in agreement, and shut up.

When people ask me how do I think my daughters feel about... more

I’m following up my first post on this subject because there is more I wanted to tell you about the transition in languages and how we helped Livi. We changed our daughter’s name. If she had been much older we don’t know that we would had changed it at all. We felt she was young enough at 16 months old to handle the change. I had my heart set on a certain name so we decided to change it. On our visits during trip one we called her by her birth name. It was shortened to a nickname by the Orphanage staff and we called her by that name. On trip two we called her... more

This is the end of My frequently asked questions series. This one always threw me for a loop. Does she speak Russian? Our daughter was 14 months at referral and 16 months old when we brought her home. I remember calling to make a pediatrician appt prior to bringing our daughter home. The nurse said “ well the doctor doesn’t speak Russian” I was flabbergasted. I explained that I did not need him to speak to her in Russian. She is only 16 months old. I simply needed him to examine her and give her a check up. If I remember right most homegrown 16 months old are not speaking in full sentences yet.

The average 16 month old knows how to say 5 words besides Mom & Dad. I guess I can see... more

Frequently Asked Questions week:

When people find out that our daughter is adopted they usually have the same questions.The one that always surprises me is will you tell her she is adopted? Or Does she know she is adopted? I guess these come as a surprise to me because I can’t imagine an adoption being kept a secret. I know in the past this was the case. But in this day & age I cant imagine someone not knowing they are adopted. How we became a family is such a special story. I don’t point out that she is adopted but I don’t hide... more

Frequently Asked Questions week

A rather outspoken member of my family said that I was wrong to adopt from Russia with so many needy children in “ Our own backyard” Many people asked why Russia? Our story has less to do with why we decided to adopt from Russia and more about why we decided against a domestic adoption. I think people make assumptions about both routes and each has its negatives & positives. I don’t see one as better than the other.Adoption is all about Love. In the end a child gets a loving family.

People choose the route that... more