With about six weeks of school left, it has become apparent that my teenage daughter, Lyn, cannot possibly pass four of her fourth grade classes. She has special needs that include a learning disability, fetal alcohol, ADD, and verbal Apraxia. There cannot be any benefit to her education or her self-esteem to continue to fail for the rest of the school year. If she were in public school, instead of homeschooling, there wouldn’t be any choice. She would have to finish out the current school year before starting summer school. What a waste of time and energy. However,... more

For some time now, I’ve observed that right around the time my oldest goes through a growth spurt, we start to see really wonky behavior: crankiness, sleeping more, eating like there’s no tomorrow, and the like.

Though I saw, and still see, this with him, being that he was our only child, it didn’t occur to me to look for this same tie-in with our newest arrivals. But, boy, something is definitely in the air! My youngest has shown signs of regressing to certain behaviors we’ve not seen since shortly after his arrival here. He’s throwing mild tantrums, and being whiny, clingy and verbally very cranky.

My daughter, who lost another tooth today, has also displayed some undesirable... more

For so long, my daughter took on the personal responsibility of ensuring her younger brother was safe. She’s a total “protector” and has been in “full mama mode” for some time now.

For children who are used to “being in charge,” it’s hard to let go once they are in the safe confines of an adoptive family.

My daughter routinely goes beyond whatever instructions I give her. If I ask her to put her dishes in the sink and rinse them with water, she will wash them with lots and lots of dish soap. Not a huge deal, unless it makes a big mess that I then have... more

Because of my own ADD, organization is not my strong suit. Though I have yet to master organization, I’ve discovered some key pieces that certainly make life easier!

Master Calendar: My cell phone is actually one of those pocket PCs, so I have e-mail, MS Word and Excel, plus calendaring and contacts all in one place. The down side to this is that it is my brain, so if I misplace it, I’m done for. However, I sync it with my computer so that I have a back up. The nice thing is, I can print out labels from my address book for cards, etc., and don’t have... more

Giving a school-age child chores and an allowance is an effective way to teach a child responsibility and discipline. The concept of chores might be foreign to some older adopted children while, to others, having responsibility around the house is second nature. For a child who was made responsible for age-inappropriate tasks before his adoption, he will have the opportunity to shine doing more age-appropriate tasks. Also, earning an allowance is a perk to just about any child, whether adopted or not.

Opinions vary on the topic of chores and allowance.... more

Summer time is here. We'll do some fun things. More often, we'll be doing a lot more of routine, dull things around the house. The kids are obviously thrilled about this!

Okay. So perhaps they aren't so thrilled. I am always on the lookout for new ideas to keep us all motivated. At our house, these are called "Tidy Tasks". With many adopted children at various places on the road to attachment and family belonging, their responses to helping with home and family aren't always predictable. I keep a lot of ideas ready so that I can vary... more

New Tidy Task ideas are not for routine, daily chores, but designed for extra chores and/or extra fun to add a boost to the monotony of daily chores. They also can add fun to a family while doing things that really are pretty mundane.

Parents, particularly adoptive parents, should remember that children want to become a part of something fun. A child won’t want to become a part of something boring and difficult. Children seek to be included and find a sense of belonging in things that are positive, happy or fun. When we think... more

Tidy Tasks are fun ways to motivate our children to help with house chores. Two previous blogs mentioned some fun ideas. One blog introduced Box o’ Socks, “Stop, Drop and Clean”. Another blog gave a lot of ideas for fun charts to use.

Using a cycle chart is another fun way to keep kids interested in otherwise mundane tasks, learning responsibility,... more

Every mom wonders, at one point or another, how to motivate a child to help with taking care of the house. We all know it’s not only about the actual doing of the chores. Gosh, in most cases, it’s a whole lot easier for a mom to do the chore than it is to teach the child how to do it and to follow up on that. Worrying over chores is far more about teaching the child responsibility, personal care, and, eventually, how to live on his own.

In adoptive homes, there is an extra aspect to consider that presents even more importance to helping... more

With kids coming home for summer, how can we keep our homes from getting out of hand? Mix things up! Tidy tasks is a phrase that I use to encompass all sorts of fun, easy and novel ideas for keeping kids motivated to help keep our house looking nice.

With a house full of children, keeping things fun is one key for keeping things successful at the same time. We pick ideas that sound like they might help get the job done while keeping levity at the same time. Who likes to do chores anyway? Most kids... more