One of the biggest things I have learned from Katharine Leslie is that our kids have not had great examples in life and that we can tend to presume that they know how to behave nicely or what our expectations are, when they truly don’t.

Kids look to their parents are behavioral models, and our kids have not always had good models before entering foster care or some of the orphanages. The things they have heard and seen are not necessarily the behaviors we want our kids to have. They watch our behaviors closely... more

I am two! Can you believe that it is already that time again? It is time to write our semi-annual Dear Birth Mom letter and update. The months seem to fly by unbelievably fast and it has already been six months since our last update. Our darling daughter has just turned two years old. It seems like just yesterday I was rushing to Texas to meet her for the first time. Now, she is the one rushing, in every direction at once most of the time. She has been transformed from an enchanting little baby to a beautiful little girl in two years.

Dear Birth Mom,

Now... more

It is that time of year again already. The months seem to fly by and six months comes so quickly. Our adoption agency has requested that we send an update semi-annually for the first five years, then once a year. It is hard to believe that our beautiful daughter is one and a half already. I want to tell her birthmother so much about her in each update letter because we are so proud of her. It is tempting to send many photos because she is so cute and photogenic. What holds me back from doing it then? We currently have a closed adoption because that was her birthmother’s choice.... more

For so long, my daughter took on the personal responsibility of ensuring her younger brother was safe. She’s a total “protector” and has been in “full mama mode” for some time now.

For children who are used to “being in charge,” it’s hard to let go once they are in the safe confines of an adoptive family.

My daughter routinely goes beyond whatever instructions I give her. If I ask her to put her dishes in the sink and rinse them with water, she will wash them with lots and lots of dish soap. Not a huge deal, unless it makes a big mess that I then have... more

All parents face the dilemma about when, if ever, it is okay to lie to your child. Most parents tell fun lies, such as encouraging their children to believe in Santa or the Tooth Fairy. Some tells lies of convenience, such as telling a child that the stork brought him because they are not ready to tell a very young child the truth about the birds and the bees. We tell our children that they must tell the truth, but we turn around and lie to them for various reasons. No matter how we justify our falsehoods, are they really okay?

Some adoptive parents move... more

When you adopt a child, are you obligated to raise the child in the birth family's faith? Or is it okay to raise your child in your own faith?

When it comes to issues of faith, it is hard to be objective. When you truly believe in your own religion, it is hard to imagine raising a child to believe in anything else. This is particularly an issue when you practice a religion that believes its way is the "only way." Nobody wants to subject his child to eternal punishment for not embracing the "right" religion.

Also, having the same faith under one roof can lead to... more

As I wrap up the Discipline and Adopted Child Series, I would like to focus on an area that is related to discipline – modeling good behavior. The importance of modeling good behavior is often overlooked as part of the discipline process, but the behavior you model to your child can be a powerful influence over how your child behaves.

For example, I have tried many methods to get my son to make his own bed. One method or another will work for a while, but he always falls... more

Be safe. Be respectful. Be honest. Be kind.

Children NEED rules and limits. Adopted children are not the exception, rather they may have an even stronger need for rules. At the very least, they give a child an idea of what must be done in order to fit on.

How to set family rules:

1) Limit your rules. I have seen a list of rules from another adoptive family that included a bit more than three typewritten pages of rules. Sure, they may all be important things to remember. They must be daunting... more

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not. ~Dr. Seuss

This quote from the book, The Lorax, is a great way to open up conversation with our children about how we can serve others. Service is an amazing way to teach our children compassion. It is even more wonderful when we are able to help our adopted children to give back by serving and developing more compassion for adopted children and families.

Where can we find opportunities to serve within the adoption... more

Teaching our children to serve others does excellent things for their development and character building! For adopted children who might have difficult backgrounds, serving others can be somehow particularly healing.

How can you and your child find places to serve and to volunteer?

I recently happened on this website, Do Something. I was fascinated by the many ways that are shown to start volunteering and, as the title suggests,... more