When people talk about discipline, I often see polar opposites clashing. On one side of the ring, we have the "spare the rod and spoil the child" camp who believe that spanking is the only correct form of punishment. They point to the Bible in support of this position, and they believe that any child who is a disciplinary problem just needs a "good whoopin'." These people often talk about how their parents would tell them to go pick out a stick for their spanking, just like their grandparents and great-grandparents did. On the other side of the ring, you have... more

My post Deciding to Adopt a Child: Uncompromising Positions sparked some discussion about discipline options. One reader said –

Please consider a series of posts on the topic of discipline, as this is an area of parenting which holds so much potential for success or failure. - Sunbonnet Sue from Deciding to Adopt a Child: Uncompromising Positions

This... more

As I have gone along in my years of parenting, there are certain things that just don’t push my buttons anymore. If my kids are running around getting ready for school in the morning and can’t find their papers or other things they need, I continue to eat my cereal.

If you read my blogs on the Foster Adoption blogs, you know that I am a big fan of Love & Logic. I give the “units of concern” to my kids. They own them.

What are “units of concern”? This establishes... more

Sometimes, as in the picture here, rules make no sense at all! Hopefully, with our kids, we're able to come up with rules that have logical consequences that help kids make sense of all these rules!

Parenting books line the shelves of every major bookstore and library in the country. How can we find the right parenting books that work for us and our children? I first parented a son, an easy-going biologically-born-to-me son. I checked out parenting books, every idea worked on my easy little child. I assumed I had read and learned well. Because... more

I wish we’d had more training on behavior management before accepting a foster or adoptive child. Now that I have opportunities to work with other foster and adoptive families, I hope to make that a big part of what I can share. I’m certain that more knowledge and tools can be a huge help to families working with children that have special behavioral needs. One technique that most parents have heard of is time out. Here are some thoughts and ideas on time out.

Three types of time out

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How do you put a child with ADHD in a time out? Successfully, that is?

This is an actual photo of my son when asked to take himself to a time out. It will likely not surprise you to learn that he has ADHD. Here are some tips to change a time out from the way it looks in this photo and something a lot more successful! 1) Have a defined area for his bottom and/or for his legs. With a chair, tell him that his bottom is to stay on the chair and his legs folded down the sides. A carpet square works... more

I was not raised in an environment big on the reward system. There were no stickers or special treats for everyday actions or chores. It's not that I had a deprived childhood, it’s just that we were not given rewards for tasks or expected behaviors.

I received praise and allowance but for the most part good behavior was expected or demanded. I think my Mom may have had the right idea.It seems children these days are bribed or rewarded for the simplest mundane behavior.

Susie put her coat on so here is a gold star. Tommy took out... more

So in this post I will go over different styles of discipline that I have tried, seen, or observed. Obviously what works for me wont work for every parent or every child.You may have a sensitive toddler who bursts into tears if you even give a stern look… and that may be all that toddler needs to get back on track. Perhaps your child responds well to time-out and just the consequence alone of going into time-out is all it takes to get your child to behave. Or your toddler may be bull headed like my toddler and need a wide arsenal of tactics to help them get on... more

A fellow blogger ( Sharlene) had a post recently about an out of control toddler and that got me to thinking. What’s the magic formula? What works? How much can you really discipline a toddler when they are at that in-between stage & age of understanding but not really understanding? When they seem to be programmed to push the envelope. Sometimes I think its just consistency. I think that expectations, limits, redirection and consistency are the keys.... more

In the first two blogs, I talked about some of my childrens' cussing behaviors and some fun ideas we've tried for consequences.

Above all, regardless of the method you use to consequence a child with a colorful vocabulary, remember to have a positive... more