Given our focus today on this nation's tragedy of five years ago, I'd like to raise the question of the impact that the premature death of an adoptive parent may have on an adopted child. I have heard and read numerous statistics about the number of children who lost a parent in the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. The most consistent number I have seen is five thousand. It is almost impossible to fathom. Five thousand children lost a mother or father on that day. I am uncertain how many children lost both parents.

The loss of a parent... more

Since everyone is probably well entrenched in the back to school routine, I thought this would be a good time to revisit the topic of adoption and school issues. Or would that be, adoption issues and school?

I have written about this topic before from the limited perspective of how my two daughters handle the telling of their adoption story in the school setting. For those of you who have not read about it before, suffice it to say that they handle it very differently. One takes the "let it all hang out woo-hoo I'm adopted" approach. The other is strictly "don't... more

Terms and labels are all so relative. I know we need them to discuss our thoughts and ideas, but on occasion I have watched some label or another that I had been using quite successfully completely disintegrate in its utility. For example, I think of myself as an older mother because I began my family when I was 37 years old. Then I read about women having babies in their fifties and beyond and I feel like a spring chicken! Neat trick, huh?

I think of myself as an older adoptive parent because I adopted my daughters when I was 39. Then I read... more

My oldest daughter's transition from the private to the public Montessori setting was the most challenging of all three of the kids. She had a different teacher every year, two of whom were less than impressive and one who was a good teacher but a little inexperienced. The first teacher never did quite "get" my daughter and I always felt like she was trying to force a round peg into a square hole. She is to be credited however with teaching my daugher how to study and how to spell. My other two children are sorely lacking in both areas, but not my oldest daughter. I... more

My children returned to school today, starting at a new school. Those of you who have followed any of my writting here at www.adoptionblogs.com know that I experienced some aggravation at their previous school last year, so I have moved them all to a new school. So this will be a new school year, and a new school year. All three of my children have been Montessori educated since they were preschoolers.

My kids started out their schooling in a private Montessori school. My son, now age... more

So often, we read about the heartbreaking stories of a newborn baby left for dead, or even killed, by a frightened, desperate, unprepared, immature, parent. When that happens in a community there is a big push to remind everyone about the Safe Haven laws that are in place to protect against this kind of horrible crime. There are a lot of differing opinions on the value and the utility of Safe Haven laws and whether or not they even accomplish their intended purpose.

Click on this... more

I'm hacked off with my daughter's school right now. I have been dissatisfied with that school all year long. As a result,I have vacillated between being a pain in the butt and raising all kind of cane with them about one thing or another, and completely pulling back pretty much refusing to talk to them about anything.

Today I got one of those silly (expletive deleted) phone calls where the teacher calls whining about some minor problem with my child that is beyond his or her ability to manage. The reason these kinds of phone calls irritate me is because I was a classroom... more

Here is an excellent resource on helping your child to manage school issues related to adoption.

Last week I published a post about the different approaches that my two daughters take to managing their adoption story with classmates and teachers. With this still being on my mind I began to do some research and I came across the aforementioned article.

I am particularly drawn to informational articles that present a developmental perspective across the lifespan and that is what... more

Evidently I am fostering some weird kind of dependency in my children, though I swear it is not my intention. I am always spouting off to them about how I want them to grow up, go off to college, travel the world, enjoy their lives, marry and have chidren of their own. I revel in fantasies about what their father and I will do once they are grown.

I have visions of long family vacations at the beach with our kids and later with their children in tow; holidays spent at one of their homes or ours; photos being zapped by cellphone and emailed over the internet from places near... more

I've been reading the recent posts on attachment and really appreciate Nancy's perspective. As a child psychologist I can definitely say that I've seen the kinds of issues that Nancy writes about, and I've helped my share of parents attach to their children. Disturbances in attachment can happen for any number of reasons, one of which happens to be adoption.

I've helped families to reunify after separation due to abuse and neglect, incarceration (of the child or parent), long absences due to medical issues, or financial hardships. In some instances the parents and the children have been total strangers to one another, with little more to form a relationshp than some pictures, or a... more