My mother-in-law was here to visit us for a week and she just left to return home yesterday. We were one pitiful little family last night because we were all missing her so much. This morning we woke up moving around a little more slowly than normal. The entire rhythm of the house had changed. Mom is an early chipper riser. She's up and running at full steam no later than 6:30 in the morning. Her energy was noticeably missing this morning and it was a bummer. Then it hit me and I said excitedly to my kids and my husband, "Hey everybody. It's not that bad. We're going to Atlanta... more

Wouldn't it be terrific if crystal balls could really tell us the future about our children? I am prone to doing what I call "running around inside my head" a lot, too much. Where my children are concerned I can sometimes get caught up in trying to determine their futures by watching their everyday behavior.

When my kids resolve conflict appropriately while they are playing with one another or playing with their friends, I imagine that they will become peacemakers and consensus builders in whatever environment they will find themselves as adults. When they fuss and fight... more

Browsing back through all of my posts, I see that nearly every one of them has been written from the perspective of the adoptive mother. The only post that I have written on the unique issues related to adoptive fathering was this one about non-biological children carrying on the adoptive father's name.

It may be fine to write what you know, but, if you stick with that tenet then sooner or later you won't have much of anything left to write about. I could do a lot of tedious... more

Our son's adjustment to the adoption of our daughters has been very impressive. My husband and I used a lot of strategies and discussion and processing to prepare him for the experience. We included our son in the initial decision to adopt and in every other step along the way. He was a very important part of the entire process and his input was highly valued. He put in a vote for adopting a boy, but I vetoed that request. I really, I mean reeaalllly, wanted a girl. All things considered, I think he's done quite well.

One of the biggest adjustments that I recall being very difficult for him was the initial shock and a sense of invasion of privacy that he experienced when the girls... more

I saw a quote in a post last week in which the writer stated:

"When you've heard about one adoption story, you've heard one adoption story."

I'm feeling a little sheepish about admitting to how much I did not know about adoption until I started blogging here! I certainly felt that I had something to offer when I applied to become one of the bloggers, but, I have gained a tremendous amount of knowledge already from each adoption story I've read about.

For instance, I have learned so much about international adoption, and about... more

When I originally developed the category Myths and Fantasies for my blog, I was recalling all of the statements I've heard expressed by parents who are fantasizing about growing their family through adoption. I try to be careful not to judge anyone's reasons for expanding their families in whatever way they choose to do so. Usually, people add to their families by choice simply because they want do. I don't know if that is to be considered a so-called good reason or not. But, fundamentally that is why people choose to have children in the first place and it is why they choose to have more children.

I don't know if adoptive parents are any more prone to fanciful thinking about what... more

In my book on guilt-free parenting I include several parenting affirmations. One of them is particularly affirming for parents of adopted children, though, I didn't write it with that particular group of parents in mind. Still, those who have read my little self-help book seem particularly moved by this one affirmation:

"I was destined to parent this child in this space and time. We chose one another. There is profound purpose in every element of our union."

Remember: There is profound meaning and purpose in every parent-child relationship. Part of the responsibility of the journey is extracting, honoring,... more