The title isn't so startling, is it? Children grow up. That’s what they do. This inclusive statement extends to adoptee children as well. They grow up. So why is it worth talking about?

My adopted children have arrived to me between 17mos and 17yrs old. From the first time I hear that the child will be arriving, I work and plan for this child to have a successful life. By nature of the adoptions I’ve pursued, my kids have come from really, really awful backgrounds. Because of that, my focus starts from day one – and the focus usually remains... more

We just picked up our Good Wishes Quilt from the quilter. I happen to be good at many things but sewing is not on of them so we hired someone who had the knowledge and talent to create our heirloom for us. I first learned about the idea of good wish quilt from various blogs of Pap’s adopting from China. Many pap’s adopting from China embraced the idea and before you knew it everyone was creating a 100 good wishes quilt or scrapbook. It has been said that a the tradition started in the Northern part of China where families create a Bai Jia bei... more

Allie had two big life events happen this month! She turned five AND she got adopted, after 3 years in our family. Here are some of her thoughts on adoption...

Allie, I want to talk to you about adoption. Is that okay?

“Yeah!”

Who got adopted last week?

“umm…..Renee, Michelle, Joey, Renee, me and Simone. Seven people.” (holds up seven fingers and shows everyone in the room) “Oh, Michelle, too.”

You all got adopted at the same time? (there were... more

Abby is 14yrs old. She has been my daughter for exactly one year this week. She wrote this today - a message she asked me if I would share with other adoptive parents.

Forgiveness From The Heart

“I hate you and I don’t have to listen to you cause you’re not my real mom!” These are many words commonly used by today’s adopted teenagers in America. After taking a while to cool down they apologize. Many say they forgive, but what does the words ‘ I forgive you’... more

I have this great Photography Book called the Circle of life… and from cradle to the grave it shows how all different cultures mark the milestones in life in stunning pictures and brief stories. I bought this book ages ago… I was 19-20 years old, working at the mall and would always walk in to the bookstore and look at this book that at the time was not in my budget. One day they had a sale and I was able to afford it. It is still one of my favorite books. In my meditation group last night I was explaining how difficult the transition and becoming... more

I always thought being a mom would come natural to me, that it would just flow. I had chosen a career centered on children and I always gravitated to children and them to me. I considered myself a nurturing and sensitive woman ready to raise and love a child of my own. I remember my home visiting days, seeing first hand how motherhood came so easily to some and while others seemed to struggle. It was never something you could gauge beforehand, those that you would think would be naturally great sometimes struggled and at times I would... more

Transitioning from working to staying at home was a big adjustment for me. I assumed it would be an easy transition for me since it’s been a dream and goal of mine to be a stay at home Mom for the longest time. Not so, I really had a difficult time with it. I missed working at first. I missed the interaction with other adults, I missed being in charge, I missed earning my own money, and I missed getting praise for a job well done. It’s almost as if you have to reinvent yourself. So much of my identity was wrapped up in my career. Nothing... more

Why is it that some women feel the need to size each other up? I have worked with mostly women my whole life. I’m not surprised to see women get competitive with each other in the workplace; I’m guilty of it. I’m the youngest of three girls and my sisters and I have had and still have our moments. My sis made a parenting related comment that hurt my feelings and things have been weird since. I’m hoping we can get past it.

What surprises me are the little ways that Mom’s get competitive with one another over our children. It happens between working and stay... more

“We May Not Have It All Together, But Together We Have It All”

My very favorite part of my home is this wall in my dining room. This wall has a plaque with the above saying across the very top. Underneath, there is a large photo of myself and my husband. That is surrounded by a photo of each of my children. (Yes, the wall needs updating since the time I took this photo.)

I can think of no other statement that better describes us! All of my children, birthed kiddos included, have one or more mental health diagnoses. In... more

I just thought I would pass along this new study. It’s an interesting article but I don’t agree that adoptive parents get high marks just because we are trying to compensate. There are no accidental adoptions and most of us have worked really hard to build our families through adoption. The whole homestudy process and the process in general holds adoptive parents to pretty high standards. I think most families who go through the process really want to parent a child and are ready to put energy & effort into parenting. I have not... more