Adoptive Parenting

A little foresight can save you a lot of money sometimes. I think that concept is pretty true for most things, actually. In many ways, I feel I subscribe to this belief. I scour ads to compare big ticket items (as long as they're on sale, that is); I try to think of realistic value for every dollar spent. In adoption, I don't believe in the exact same principles. Sure, we compared agencies, but I didn't let the bottom dollar amount dictate our decision. Adoption can be, at times, quite costly. We wound up making a mistake in the process of adopting our third child that I'd like to share in hope that it will prevent others from doing the… [more]

I recently had a conversation with a good friend, someone I respect and appreciate very much. The long and short of it is that our conversation centered on motherhood--by means of either biology or adoption. While she's always been completely open to adoption and doesn't personally view it as "the absolute last resort", she did state that it is her belief that the true motherhood experience begins at conception. I disagreed, stomped my foot, and pouted. But a few hours later, I realized she was so right on. While pregnant with Bear, I felt every kick, every nudge, every stretch. I felt horrid for the first three months; I cried out of misery almost every night for two weeks prior to his birth… [more]

Bella is my only first-hand experience with open adoption, and I'd like to share some of my thoughts on my experiences thus far. When we agreed to enter an open adoption, the decision wasn't a difficult one in the least; however, we were venturing out to uncharted territory for our family.  I remain in very loose contact with Bear's birth father, and we have absolutely no contact with either of Beauty's birth parents in Guatemala. So what did I (do I, really) know about open adoption? In a few words? Not much. Sure, I know all I've read, all the accounts I've followed so closely throughout the years through blogs, books, and so on. I consider myself reasonably educated in the area… [more]

"Why do we have to see a judge?" Bear asked for quite possibly the hundredth time. "A judge is someone who helps complete adoptions," my husband offered. "Oh," said Bear, clearly unimpressed. "But we get to go out to dinner after that, right?" Hey, you have to have priorities, no? While I think both of my 'older' children have a good grasp on and understanding of adoption, there are definitely details and components they just don't 'get'. They understand that a social worker helps get your family ready for a new baby; they understand that birth moms are a part of our family, too. They understand that adoption is a something that we celebrate in our family. They comprehend "a-days" and how they differ… [more]

I have an admission to make: I am a former (definitely former--definitely mostly former) control freak. Granted, it's gotten a lot better since Bear made his debut in May of 2006; having kids kind of takes the edge off in that way. And in many ways, I have learned to let the little things go. I'm a lot more relaxed, a lot less bothered by things beyond my control. However, while I am flexible, I still appreciate routine. I'm not rigidly adhered to our schedule, but I do like predictability. Prior to the addition of Bella to our family, we had a pretty simple but predictable routine.  Toddlerhood was making way for the preschool circuit, and we were at the… [more]

I am slightly sleep deprived. Wait, let me back up. I have a new baby--a beautiful little girl--and I'm slightly sleep deprived. Sometimes life takes some unexpected turns. And sometimes the outcome of said unexpected turns is amazingly beautiful. As some of the more regular readers might recall, we were in the process of adopting from Ethiopia. Long story short, before we even started on compiling our dossier, we had a change of heart and decided to pursue an adoption through the foster care system. In the middle of December, we met with our new social worker (did I mention we needed a completely new home study even though we just had a favorable one approved in July? More on… [more]

My children are daredevils. No, really. Okay, so they're not fearless, but they definitely like to try things out.  "Things" sometimes mean doing something that causes my heart to stop beating for just a second, though. But for the most part, they just tend to dive into any adventure. This pleases me greatly. Here's where my concern lies: Bear is almost four, and he has great balance, speed, and agility. Beauty, however, is almost three and has the speed down-pat, but lacks both balance and agility. This is chiefly due to the fact that she is a toe walker at all times. She is currently enrolled in an occupational therapy program that seems to help out a little bit, but she naturally… [more]

The holidays have come and gone. If you're anything like me, I'm still not back to my normal routine. I feel that I'm almost there, but not quite. It's hard to wrap my head around a whole new year, and the fact that my vacation is over. Reality is calling, and I'm trying not to answer. Chances are you and your children may be experiencing the same thing. The holidays were a busy time of year. It was filled with get-togethers, obscenely early shopping trips, delicious sugary treats, and time off of work and school. It was a time of year to be enjoyed and cherished. But once it's over, it's time to get back to your daily routine. While it may be… [more]

A healthy lifestyle is beneficial when learned early in life. Longer life span, more energy, and happiness and contentment all accompany good health. And what more could you want for your children? But for some families maintaining an active and healthy lifestyle isn't easy. It takes effort. It takes work. But it is worth it in the end. Set an Example: One of the easiest and most effective ways to teach your child about healthy living is to live healthily yourself. As you know, children watch the actions and habits of their parents. You can show them that healthy living is fun and rewarding. Along with your example, talk to your child or children about how to make healthy choices and ways to… [more]

Before I had children, I would see kids throwing tantrums in the grocery store. "My children will never act like that," I'd say to myself. Before I had children, I'd hear my friends complain about picky eaters. "I know my (future) kids will eat anything and everything," I'd assume.  When I'd see two children bickering over the same toy, I'd think to myself, "My kids will always want to share." Did I actually think these thoughts? Guilty, guilty, guilty. I truly believed "my kids would never...". And then I had kids. While I could regale you with tales of Beauty's blow-out tantrums while shopping or Bear's decision to only eat macaroni and cheese for a whole week, my thoughts are centered today on… [more]