Insurance Woes

March 17th, 2014

money signInsurance has been a pain for a lot of people this year. The new healthcare regulations have affected a lot of people, including my family. I am not going to get into Obama Care, but I do want to share a glimpse of what we have been dealing with for the past year and a half. When we adopted our son five years ago we had a different insurance company than we do now. My husband was with the same company though. During that time our adoption agency had advised us that most likely the insurance with not cover our son until finalization day. With most insurance companies though, they will back track the claims and pay for any remaining balance… [more]

Feeling Abandoned

January 13th, 2014

bench I often wonder if my kids do or will eventually feel abandoned.  Many books and professionals have lead us to believe that some children who are adopted will feel a sense of abandonment through their life.  Some question, "Why did my birth mother not want me? or "What was wrong with me?"  As my son gets older, I wonder if some of his insecurities have to do with him being adopted.  When he was a baby he did not like being left alone at any time.  He did not even like it when we were not in the same room.  I know children can have these behaviors even if they are not adopted, but does being adopted intensify these feelings?  My son is… [more]

Love Language

October 22nd, 2013

4343621338_394f7baa33_oHave you ever heard of the five love languages? I was having a conversation with one of my friends the other day and I was talking to her about how my daughter is overly affectionate.  Now, seeing how my daughter came from foster care and she was probably not given that attention and love I think she craves it a lot more. She does know proper boundaries with other people outside of her family because we have worked on that with her, but she does like alot of affection from her dad and me.  Okay now back to the conversation with my friend. She told me about this website that tells you how you express your love and I decided that… [more]

Relating to Other People’s Kids

October 8th, 2013

childrenMaybe years of failed adoption attempts have jaded me.  I never attached much meaning to whether or not my future children would be genetically related to me or not.  I just wanted the opportunity to be someone’s mommy, and to share that with my husband and have him be their daddy.  In fact, I used to get a bit too invested in the lives of other people’s children.  I was one of those people I now cringe about, dishing out unsolicited parenting advice, often heavily peppered with judgment.  My poor sister-in-law was the first to experience this when my niece was born 9 years ago.  In preparation for my graduate thesis, I researched parenting magazines, and so in spite of not… [more]

Connecting Together

October 6th, 2013

3832156682_3ac3f3c5da_q My husband and I adopted a child from foster care earlier this year. She has been leaving in our home for over a year now. We have all grown closer together as a family over the past year. We love our child very much but at times we do not connect. I think back to when my husband and I met 12 years ago, we had to form a connection. I remember thinking when my husband and I was dating that he was a nice person but I didn't think that I wanted anything serious with him. We both laugh as we talk about that now as we could not imagine our lives without each other but that took time and… [more]

Parents are Parents, Not Adoptive Parents

September 5th, 2013

shirtI don't know if Rick and Teresa Kaepernick are mad but I'm mad for them.  They are the parents of San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick.  If you watch ESPN or almost any of the other sports outlets, you know that Colin is adopted.  You know this because every story about Colin that mentions his parents refer to them as his adoptive parents.  It's unnecessary.  They are his parents.  No adjective needed. Best known as an underrated high school player with only one college scholarship offer who, in his second year in the NFL, set the record for most rushing yards by a quarterback in a game before leading the 49ers to the Super Bowl.  As the spotlight shines brighter with Colin's… [more]

My Choice: Diverse Classes or Diverse Classmates

August 29th, 2013

classDuring my daughter's last year in preschool, the school's administration decided to start a private kindergarten.  If the first year of the new school was successful, they planned to add a grade a year each year as long as it was feasible, possibly up to eighth grade. I wouldn't have sought out a private school ordinarily.  I believe in public education and the impact it has on a community, the economy, and democracy as a whole.  But this seemed like such a good fit.  My daughter would begin school knowing her teacher and many of her classmates.  The class size would be small - only 12 students -  and there would be opportunities for unique learning experiences.  The down side though, she… [more]

21

August 16th, 2013

21 - Blog Post 221 will always be a special number for me. 21 was when I felt as though I had become fully grown. I felt liberated and free and ready to show the world how mature I was.  But 21 has now taken on a new meaning for me because I adopted a sweet wonderful little girl on the 21st and my world has changed. I went from wife, business owner, and now I get to add Mom. On the 21st day of September my daughter was placed in my home after we visited each other for two months. I remember it like it was yesterday how her face lit up when she put all her things in her room. We put on some music and organized… [more]

No Contact

August 15th, 2013

memoriesMy son is four, almost five now.  When he was younger we would talk to him about adoption.  He did not ask much about his birthparents.  We would show him a picture of his birth family and tell him his birth story.  It was not until we started the process with adopting our daughter that he started getting more curious.  He was able to meet our daughter's birth mom and play with her other daughter.  Of course this brought up many questions about his birth mom.  The first year we would send pictures and letters to our son's birth mom.  We never heard back from her.  After about a year we lost all contact with her.  Trying to explain this to my son… [more]

Looks Do Matter

August 8th, 2013
Categories: Uncategorized

heartWhen we adopted my son we had not met or seen either of his birth parents.  We did not know any physical characteristics other than they were caucasian.  My husband and I did not care if our children looked exactly like us, but we did want some similar traits.  Then moment that the nurse brought our son to us, we knew he was suppose to be part of our family.  Not because of the way he looked, but because it just felt right.  All of the nurses said he looked just like us.  They said you would never know that he was adopted.  I loved when people would say that.  Especially when someone said he looked like us and they did… [more]